Hello I am glad to make my introduction

Suckin away your fears like I'm emotional liposuction

People say I'm gaudy, call me a theatrical production

But your girl and I know all about sexual reproduction

I'm a scholar, from Bertrand Russell to Steven Hawking

So please let my allusions, equations, and references do the talking

I'm not gonna lie I don't see myself as fly

And while I love the ladies, well I also love guys

So let me say that I am proud to be

Established here as a token minority

I'll make it polysyllabic and autodidactic and very bombastic not anticlimactic or too fast retracted no

I'm too weird, intergalactic

I be messing with all of that dumb shit

I might even do a Harry Potter bit

I'm the boy who lived motherfucker what you gonna do

I'm standing ten feet tall I can't remember how I grew

I'm hot, but not photogenic

You'd fuck me, but wanna forget it

I got voices, like I'm schizophrenic

I spread music like it's pathogenic

From the t to the o to the n to the y

I'm educating y'all like I'm fucking Bill Nye

I got a Harvard sweatshirt and I wanna go there

Call me Huey Lewis bc it's hip to be square

I'm magic call me mistoffolees

I'm Tarzan, I'm swinging from the trees

I'm Barry Benson, like the bees knees

I'm Jessica Rabbit, the biggest tease

Got my own fat ass so I don’t need a girl

I’m flexible enough to rock my own world

I've been independent since the first day

Call me Frank Sinatra because I'm doing it my way

And I don’t give a shit

Digging through my closet I’m gonna make a whole fit

I wanna fuck these straight dudes I have a whole list

I am not promiscuous but maybe just a little bit