Interview

By Sur5ILL

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[Refrain] (x2)

Ready to work again, hope I remember how to

This time is different, a change of heart I vow to

Not be so insolent 'cuz there's no sacred cow rule

Ready to work again, I hope that I remember how to


[Verse 1]

(OK)

I received a phone call from the recruiter on a Tuesday

An interview was offered for tomorrow, I said that noon's great

We exchanged pleasantries and said goodbye, I spread the news scape

My head got so big until it resembled a balloon's shape​

Suit is black--make sure the route's exact

I'm perusing maps to use on my Google app

If the traffic's brutal

Grab the train and (and)

Add the time it takes to drive and quadruple that

Nah, actually I went ahead and put the suit back

I want to look astute (YEAH) but not so much like a douchebag

Next day, I prepped and studied five business guides

Left an hour early even though it's a nine minute drive

During the ride, halfway through there's bumpers and cluttered wreckage

And motherfuckers in Hummers texting and rubbernecking

​I saw that a tanker's axle was axed off of the chassis​

I'm stuck in traffic when ambulance sirens happened to pass me

Oh well, I'm fucked, I tried to call and explain when I might come

'Cuz I'm running late, I should've done a dry run--well, strike one


[Hook]

Ready to work again, contribute to society

I have so much anxiety on whether or not they'll hire me

I'm interviewing finally (x2)

I hope they fucking hire me (x2)


[Verse 2]

(Uh huh)

I finally arrived at the room half past noon

Though I left a voicemail saying I'd be there as soon

As possible, there's obstacles--apologized for the lapse, dude

She explained that her schedule was more full than our last moon

I observed her body language​, it ​included snobby slang which​

​Reeked of upper class--solely part of the heart of Cambridge

I kept trying to make eye contact​ ​but the lame bitch

Was looking disinterested after hearing my main pitch​

All of the canned questions she handed me

Were answered candidly as she was scanning me

To see where I stand and where I plan to be

In five years--it's such a stupid question--​grant me amnesty

I said [position X] in the [blahblahblah] branded family

​Now it's far fetched landing this goddamn job is a ​fantasy

There's no way I'd seal the deal, like bartering with manatees

In the grand scheme, it was ruthless hubris or vanity

That I could coast and get offered a letter much like Vanna needs


[Hook]


[Verse 3]

​Next, she asked me to freestyle--and I said "uhh uhh" and stumbled

I just buried myself with a shovel inside of a puddle

Of doo doo butter I rumbled from my stomach, I struggled

To recite lines from #nerddom, she heard them and looked real puzzled

I've rapped it a million times either in crowds or solo

I feel like Tony Romo in fourth quarters or Lolo

Jones hopping the hurdle, I turtled, this is a no-go

I'm up shit's creek with a leak and one oar on a rowboat

The lady sat and nodded with her pad and jotted flow notes

I just blew it musically like on saxes and oboes

Before the interview I felt un poco like a yoko-

Zuna--but since then I got canned like tuna I feel like "Ono"

What the hell is the point of downing a bowl of Total?

Or Wheaties, the shit deceives me, my emotions turn from hopeful

I thought I'd find the answers on social media by mobile

But after this interview I evacuated: Chernobyl (WORK)