[Intro]

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute!

Sorry, I was just…

Alright, now, yo, let me try this again…”

[Verse 1]

I want to be to rap as Alfred Kinsey was to sex

He’s my hero and what he did for our whole culture was the best

I admire his bravery, devotion, and silliness, I bet

That rap gets a bad rap because we just don’t understand it yet

American culture buuurthed me

I’m a loving contradiction, monotone voice, full of passion

People rolled their eyes thought that this would never happen

Except I rapped my first rap and the whole audience was clappin

It’s for the beauty woven in life that I’ll keep on rapping

[Interlude]

“Yeah. I think that’s good dude!”

[Verse 2]

You see my mind’s a huge struggle and my life a huge mess

But there’s beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success

The best goals usually grow unfed, unmet

And the best words usually go dead, unsaid

And if you get wet heading to your dreams in the rain

Just get wet and keeping heading onwards like a grain

Of sand that’s blowing in the wind, an unstoppable force

Of course that is until that gust of wind has flown it’s course

And this discourse can turn into a fatalistic metaphor

Where I call the wind your fate and the grain of sand is your-

[Verse 3]

Matter of fact, my third parent is rap. Sing About Me, Sophomore year, and I never looked back

Might get a fourth or fifth parent soon, I’m just fine with that

Whatever my parents want, give it to them, they raised me a nice lad

I don’t rely on snap backs or laugh tracks

To conform to the norms and get people to find my raps phat

That’s phat with a p-h, here comes the ph joke

I’m such a basic bloke, citrus every day to beat those head colds

Whose the best rapper with the red nose?

Me and Rudolph might just go head to toe

I mean, Rock Paper Scissors, I mean, head to hooves or legs, I mean, toe to toe, this hurts

I’m trying to create a rhyme that explains the competition

That Rudolph the red nosed reindeer and red faced stormy boutta enter

Well, it’s all in good fun, but you are gonna get rent sir

I really like that movie where your flying skills got better

But guess wurt? Underdogs are last year, now we all like experts

[Verse 4]

The power of randomness enhances this

My plan’s to miss your expectation for this song’s clarity

Lot of words people use are just used quite terribly

But words are what we use to communicate so use them carefully

For instance, I hate this, screw that

I’m never going to, whatever, I’d be caught dead doing that

Are you sure? Do you use so many figures of speech

That your figures don’t carry meaning, your exaggerations, weak?

Is every other word out of your mouth a swear

Because you’re so determined to sound like you spitefully don’t care?

We all just want hair! To protect us from the harsh

Reality we’re all stuck in, somebody call my boy Thanos up

And use that reality stone so that none of us are alone

And we all have a full completed Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

And our lives accelerate frequently, meaning constantly changing speeds

And we all moderately feed our desires without greed!

[Verse 5]

If I had a big straw, I might just drink the ocean

They call fish a super food and I could use a good potion

There’d be so many waters I’d have to pee, but I can’t afford to just waste the beat

May beauty find you like beauty found me

I see it so freakin frequently that it makes my spirit feel free

In that I’m not plagued by the darkness that surrounds because the light

Keeps me driving through the tunnel as it is not the dead of night

So there’s some light up ahead and it’s constantly receding

But I keep on driving since I keep on seeing

Glimpses. Of those, these, that, or this

Beauty is what you make it, so give it a special personal twist, like this

[Outro]

“Because I think rap is beautiful, in case you didn’t get that, yeah, it’s free real estate, and this is a free album”