Released on November 29, 2019

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[Verse 1]

Rain trickling, window pane whistling

Pain gripping me, it's cold but it ain't Switzerland

I lay in a state, brain fizzling away

Stay visiting the day, chasing the sins away

With a bottle of Jack Daniel's eight feet away

And a lot back tracking, I hate being this way

I hate being afraid when the thunder sounds like grenades

Floating back to '82 when we came under a raid

They coming to claim the brave when the army invade

Stray bullet from the AK made my momma a grave

I am hardly awake, running in undergarments to spray

Harm me a Jake regardless what leg and arm that it takes

Wake up in cold sweats, apartment low rent

Dazed I cover my ears like hand free phone sets

Solitude devours this lowly war vet

Like old women with no children and four pets

I go vex when people today protest

Like they ain't got freedom but fuck it, I know less

I know death and cold steel from cold techs

And winter nights in prison, locked in a cold cell

Boxed and so frail, dropped to the floor stressed

Scream, the soul dressed in me got no self esteem

Hopeless to dream, low self esteem

It's hopeless to dream


[Chorus]

Don't be alarmed

Or play holier than thou

You drink or smoke, it goes in my arm

Pick your medicine

God! I was a soldier before

No guns but still caught in the wars, PTSD

Nah, don't play holier than thou

You drink or smoke, it goes in my arm

Pick your medicine

God! I was a soldier before

No guns but still caught in the wars, PTSD


[Verse 2]

I know it's a lot to swallow in a song

But whole volumes come along

And roll by with no result

And folks argue when they walk

Like, don't bother me at all

I won't bother you, a job is all I'm hunting for

Annoyed, when they front and floss at yours

Like Barbie dolls in malls

Walking close to walls, I've probably crossed the border

Of lost onto assault, the war's tortured result

The world don't give a fuck

So, I throw caution to dust

Rob most of their stuff

They all sow me erupt but don't call me a thug

I am just forced to get buck

And pour salt in their mug, start coughing it up

I am life's nauseous stuff

A veteran, hero meddle with heroine needle peddling

And it gets even better than medicine

People said that it settles, evil lurking embedded deep in your shirt

And the medals mean shit in the end

Breathe again friend the fires roar close to your gut

It will cost you a heart just for you to shoulder the odds

But, don't be alarmed

I swear being sober is hard

One time I stayed a week without knowing a drop

No needle pop, no weed, no pot, no illegal rocks

Two weeks of job hunting, I am back on the streets sloshed

Half deranged, past that stage laugh at rage

That's insane cast the flame, mastered pain

Memories flash the brain, I collapse

I am maimed


[Chorus]

But don't be alarmed

Or play holier than thou

You drink or smoke, it goes in my arm

Pick your medicine

God! I was a soldier before

No guns but still caught in the wars, PTSD

Nah don't play holier than thou

You drink or smoke, it goes in my arm

Pick your medicine

God! I was a soldier before

No guns but still caught in the wars, PTSD