I get angry at my son

And that shit kills me

Cuz anger fucking built me

And now the anger fills me

I will be the dad that i needed

To my children

I wish validation isnt something

That i still need

I wish i could choose

I could choose to be happy

I wish i didn't feel like my dad

Wishes he never had me

I hope someone has answers

To the questions im asking

Like why of all people

Is my cousin B passing

It feel like im drowning

And im grasping and im thrashing

And they cheering and they clapping

Someone save me

Ive been going through this daily

And i can't eat and i can't sleep

Lately i been going crazy

And just maybe

Everybody еlse would blame me

How is all this shit my fault

It startеd out when we was babies

And the trauma and the scars

The only fucking thing you gave me

This shit hurts so bad

And sometimes i wanna go back

To a christmas to a birthday

Where i didn't feel alone at

I wanna see my grandma

Thinkin bout it makes me so sad

I hope you know that

Love dont feel like combat

I hope you never have to have

The childhood that i had

I hate life

And i hate death

And i fucking hate my dad

And half the time i dont even know if im lying when i say that

And half the time i dont even know

Where i should place my faith at

My heart feel heavy weigh that

What you did you cannot change that

Dont lie to me just state facts

I can't let go

Im attached

I wish that B

Could came back

From the wrong side of the train tracks

But he fucking…