[Verse 1: Stephen Tries & Max Smith]

If you can't do 10K first week, then I don't wanna hear no chat about diss tracks

You man are both piss flaps

Touch pupils like contacts

Me vs. you, that's a mismatch

I've got bars and big Max

We're out making sweet stacks

You're out asking for feedback

I'm just spitting straight facts

Fuck Tic Tac

Callum, don't mess with me, you're broke

Nearly forty, what a joke

Clear to see you've lost all hope

Three kids, how you gonna cope?

Secret's out, you lost control

Dodgy history like the Pope

And I know that you got sacked from an old people's home

Tom better lay off all the dope

Tom got laid off, on the dole

Wanna collab? That's a nope

Get back down, whack a mole

Wait there, I'm supreme with this, like designer clothes

You got with a girl, but she's a minor, though

Seen one of your vids about three years ago

Now I spin you 'round like it's the Kylie flow

It's like had enough, had enough, had enough once

Never could you take me for a nonce

Look like you ain't washed in months

Ugliest pair of cunts

Take Nan's lunch

Custard Creams get munched

Pick one grape from the bunch

Heard her trump

Oh what, she did another trump? Well

Now Nanny's gonna get a thump

Little pricks get served, little pricks get served

Not in my lane, not in my lane

France and Spain and Greece are hot, but my mouth's on flames

Callum's not your real name

Sanjay, welcome to the game

I'm not the one to blame

Shouldn't chase clout and fame

Shouldn't chase clout and

[Interlude: Stephen Tries & Max Smith]

Yes mate, nailed them

What was all that stuff about nans and trumping?

I don't know, just sort of worked with the flow, you know?

It didn't really diss them though, did it?

Ah shit, you're right

Should we take it old-school?

Ha, yes lad

[Verse 2: Stephen Tries & Max Smith]

I bet you react to this, you basic bitch

Who the fuck are you tryna diss?

I'm the king when it comes to this

Me replying, that's your Make-A-Wish

You're a lanky looking streak of piss

Tom, you're creepy and stink of kids

Cal, you're forty and on a list

Tom, you're lonely, never been kissed

Cal mate, you're not a relevant guy

You're only watched by the FBI

You went viral that one time

Now you're begging for some STI

Called your video "Stephen Tried"

VAR said that you crossed the line

If I said I was impressed, I lied

Got a third of the views of mine

I'm a big fan of grime and rapping

Cal's more CBeebies and fapping

I'm a gangsta, see me trappin'

Cal's wanted for a kidnpping

I've got hard bars and sweet flows

Cal gets hard-ons in speedos

I love to perform on the big shows

Cal loves under 18's discos

[Outro: Stephen Tries & Max Smith]

Do you reckon that'll do?

Ah yes lad, Sanjay's gonna be fuming

Yeah, I bet he is

And he's an actual pedophile

I know