Wake up 5 minutes before work

I got no pants on, throw on a random shirt

The office life ain’t for me

For 9 to 5 this is the closest thing to being free

(Chorus 2x)

All my friends live in a screen

Please send a link to your video stream

Can’t remember the last human I’ve seen

Life on a remote team

Sign in for the morning meeting

Cameras turned off so avatars are all I’m seeing

I just need a cup of coffee and some internet

Human contact, no I ain’t really into that (cause I’m not sales)

Passing Jira stories, chilling with my cat on the couch

Home is so cozy no I’m never going out

But I could leave and run errands if I have to

And I always shit from my own bathroom

I barely ever ever have to check in

I can stream Netflix and eat Chex Mix

Always message me on Slack if you ever want to pair and screenshare

I don’t even need to be there

(Chorus 2x)

All my friends live in a screen

Please send a link to your video stream

Can’t remember the last human I’ve seen

Life on a remote team

Introverted while I’m working I’m not sociable

If I’m job searching then this perk is non-negotiable

It’s impossible for me to look presentable

I don’t even own clothes that are professional

I can’t let the office ping pong table distract me

Rather travel do some tasks from the taxi’s backseat

We hardly get together in a room

But it’s all good as long as we have Zoom

As long as we have memes and emojis for the group

I’d probably code in C before I’d ever commute

Always message me on Slack if you ever want to pair and screenshare

I don’t even need to be there

(Chorus 1x)

All my friends live in a screen

Please send a link to your video stream

Can’t remember the last human I’ve seen

Life on a remote team