(Chorus)

I don’t wanna pair with you

You always type too slow

I ain’t pairing with you

I can’t read when you scroll

I ain’t pairing with you

I work so much better when it’s not with a group

So I ain’t pairing with you

No, I don’t wanna pair, I don’t wanna pair

I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna pair

No I don’t wanna pair with you or have a minute or two

Don’t wanna pair with you or have a minute or two

If you wanna talk to me let’s keep it in Slack

I don’t have time for a quick video chat

Brr brr, see you sent me a conference link

I don’t wanna click, cause I don’t wanna pair with you

When we do you type too slow

Half the time I’m watching you on Stack Overflow

I’m like whoa, give me the controls

I was looking at the file that you just closed

And really I should do this on my own time (why?)

Cause I’m just telling you exactly what to type (I)

Am jumbling my words, can’t think straight

Give me some space, all we do here is miscommunicate

Pairing for an hour on a function

Let’s face the facts, this ain’t productive

You wanted to pair with me, but did not prepare for me

Now we’re just sitting here in silence while you share your screen

And you know that I was just working on my own code

You pinged me and pulled me out of my zone

I’m signing off now, cause I got things to do

Me and pairing are through, so

(Chorus)

I don’t wanna pair with you

You always type too slow

I ain’t pairing with you

I can’t read when you scroll

I ain’t pairing with you

I work so much better when it’s not with a group

So I ain’t pairing with you

No, I don’t wanna pair, I don’t wanna pair

I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna pair

No I don’t wanna pair with you or have a minute or two

Don’t wanna pair with you or have a minute or two

I don’t wanna pair, I don’t wanna pair

I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna pair

No, I don’t wanna pair with you or have a minute or two

Don’t wanna pair with you or have a minute or two

Gotta go out and buy some Visine

Cause when you scroll up and down you make my eyes bleed

And you jump between files like a trampoline

When you highlight code it doesn’t help me read

Like dang, pairing is a pain

Most of the time is spent trying to explain

Code that you’ve written, that’s code that I didn’t

So shouldn’t you be the one to dive in it?

Plus, one of us is always lost

Pair programming isn’t worth the cost

Got my own tickets that should be done

I’m never pairing with anyone

We’re only doing this cause it’s in the job descrip

Honestly, I think nobody likes this s***

And at the end, you didn’t even need me at all

I was a rubber duck, no real pairing involved

Next time don’t get me on a call

Just talk to the mirror hanging on your wall

Please hit up anybody else on the team

Anybody but me, cause

(Chorus)

I don’t wanna pair with you

You always type too slow

I ain’t pairing with you

I can’t read when you scroll

I ain’t pairing with you

I work so much better when it’s not with a group

So I ain’t pairing with you

No, I don’t wanna pair, I don’t wanna pair

I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna pair

No I don’t wanna pair with you or have a minute or two

Don’t wanna pair with you or have a minute or two

I don’t wanna pair, I don’t wanna pair

I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna pair

No, I don’t wanna pair with you or have a minute or two

Don’t wanna pair with you or have a minute or two