1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 5, 3, yo, yo

Another pointing session

We never learned our lesson (no)

We’re always over or under

Yeah we never get the right number (damn)

Keep saying we’re gonna improve

Like that one’s a 3 not a 2 (2)

And that one’s a 2 not a 5 (5)

Remember you’re not allowed to say 9!

I could be fixing a bug

I could be getting shit done

Anything but getting in debates

'Bout how long it’ll take, what a waste

Please don’t make me estimate

Please don’t make me guess a date

If we didn’t have these meetings weekly

Could’ve had it done yesterday

I could be fixing up sloppy code

Instead I’m talking Fibonacci (what?)

It’s not time, it’s complexity

What the fuck does that even mean? (what the fuck?)

We need this for our sprint

We need this to predict

Well I don’t wanna disappoint

So I add padding to all of my points

Someone go and get the roadmap

Once it’s in the sprint there ain’t no going back

I said a 8 but I don’t really know why

Could be a 1 or it could take my whole life

I put 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 5, 3, 2 points on that story card (yeah)

On that story card (x5) (why?)

I put 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 5, 3, 2 points on that task card

On that bug card

On that story card (x4) (yeah yeah)

We got 10 devs

16 points to a head

It’s all stuck in one lane

Man what’s up with QA?

Plus I need a review

Half the team does too

After all of that planning

We're here with nothing to do

So many pull requests sitting

But we just pull in more tickets

So our velocity quickens

Look like the best in the business

Then 3 bugs get rejected

And scope creep gets neglected

We missed a deadline to demo

That’s gonna lead to a retro (fuck!)

Someone go and get the roadmap

Once it’s in the sprint there ain’t no going back (no)

Another week, another session where we’ll get it wrong

Still it’s way better than waterfall

I put 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 5, 3, 2 points on that story card

On that story card (x5)

I put 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 5, 3, 2 points on that task card

On that bug card

On that story card (x4)