Conferences - Intellectual

[Sample of Steve Ballmer, Microsoft CEO]

Developers developers developers developers developers

Developers, developers, everywhere I turn

Developers with education budgets they can burn

Developers nerding out hard trying to learn

Developers networking and its awkward

Developers, yeah you know we love free stuff

Developers, yeah you know we love food trucks

Developers, yeah you know we love free lunch

At the conference got the lecture hall turned up

I'm at the conference check out the sponsors, check out the swag

Stickers by the stack, free water bottles in my bag (yeah)

Stop by the booth grabbing t-shirts by the roll

If I do this twice a year, I won't have to shop for clothes (I won't have to shop for clothes)

Yeah I came to network

But sparking up a convo takes effort (hi...)

I should go and talk to someone I don't know

But I'm shy gotta to find my friends first

Hit the workshop, speaker dropping knowledge like a wiz (damn!)

My biggest accomplishment is centering a DIV

I'll keep nodding as if I'm just following along

But honestly I really have no clue what's really going on

Jotting down some notes that I'll never read

Feels like everybody is ahead of me (I'm a noob)

Go and find a corner try to get some work done

I brought all my business cards but I've handed out none (none)

Grabbing dinner everything is lukewarm

They call it tacos but it's looking like some cardboard (yeah)

Ain't this what they have all those sponsors for?

This is what I dropped a thousand dollars for?!

Find a table I'm not a talker it's super-awkward

Just trying to eat my food dude keeps bringing up Docker

I'm leaving I need the bathroom it is about the time

Of course there's a long-ass line

So I head outside checking out the mediocre band

Crowd stands hands in pockets like a high school dance

Except one guy who clearly got too drunk

Beer in his neckbeard yelling "Rails 5 sucks!"

I don't even know why I keep coming here

I had all the same complaints last year

So I go to my hotel and try to get some work done

I brought all my business cards but I've handed out none