Marzo used to plod on the route that crossed the countryside

For he would not catch a bus to ride

And his mouldy dungarees he'd worn for forty years

The only liquid he consumed was frozen beer

Old Tinlips was his friend

When they joined the boy scout's jamboree

They destroyed my brother's charity

And together they disected several cardboard slugs

Marzo kept a few of them in greasy mugs

Oh Marzo! Oh Marzo!

Marzo when a boy would delight in all adversity

For he would not leave the nursery

He was most annoyed to find he could not spell his name

The letters must have fallen down a local drain

He wandered to and fro, in the midst of blissful ignorance

He observed a constant vigilance

Purple Spaceships used to land on Yatton Bowling Green

Marzo fried the aliens steel-plated beans

Oh Marzo! Oh Marzo!

Marzo in the streets, used to thrash his rhubarb frantically

While his left arm was tied to his uncle's knee

He would pick his speck of pepper from the morning dew

He even washed his overcoat in compost glue

For no-one would believe he was born in 1563

Yet he's the youngest of his family

His father still is working for the C.I.A

Marzo is the strangest man alive today!

Oh Marzo! Oh Marzo!