[Verse 1]

She left her school for the factory

From pocket money to a salary

From a pac-a-mac to a compact case

And every morning she inspects her face

She discovers pulling pints in pubs

That the good looks will never cover up for

Her dumbness in taking the stock

Sees her reflection in a butcher's shop

[Chorus 1]

She finds it all quite rare

That her meat's all vanity fair

She finds it all quite rare

That her meat's all vanity fair

[Verse 2]

She has her eyes on medallion men

That get her home on the dot at ten

She combs her hair when she gets excused

The deal she wants always ends up screwed

Paints her nails on the bathroom scales

Gargles her breath like a landed whale

Her beauty is as deep as her skin

Keeps her eyebrows in a tobacco tin

[Chorus 2]

She poses foot on the chair

Coconut shy but vanity fair

She poses foot on the chair

Coconut shy but vanity fair

[Verse 3]

In her vanity case, her compact case

In her compact case, her eyes

Not bad for a sister, but her vanity's fair

And her sense of humour's dry

She comes home late with another screw loose

She swears to have had just a pineapple juice

Falls asleep fully clothed in her bed

With her makeup remover by her head

[Chorus 3]

And she might not be all there

But her dream's all vanity fair

And she might not be all there

But her dream's all vanity fair