I've got copies of everything

Every pressing every color

Even the penis-shaped picture disc

So i'm not the only dick

Put that down!

Don't get fingerprints on the cover

Every record is my lover

Every rarity i've pursued

Is fondled nightly when i'm nude

I'm a whore for vinyl

Need more

Still need the limited metal box

And the LP hole is small enough for my cock

My possessions, owning these goods

Makes up for my lack of manhood