[Verse 1]

It's gonna break your heart

It's gonna tear you apart

Rip you limb from limb

What the wheels fall off

Roll off down the hill

In four different directions

[Verse 2]

Byron would be proud

A bunny hop like that

Over BP

Tailwhip the Kodak Chimney

It is an NBD

Off with borealis

[Pre-Chorus]

It's a never event

You would never believe me

But I'll still send some love

[Chorus]

You won't hear it

I'll still send it anyway

Why not?

[Verse 3]

West down the Kingsfield

Lodged behind a bar

South down the London Road

To the Ninth Bunker

East down Football Lane

Plant the ducker fields

Straight into A&E

[Pre-Chorus]

It's a never event

You would never believe me

So what you gonna do?

[Verse 4]

A chassis up on bricks

Bib your hooter

Wipe your windscreen

Get out the spare

Roll down to Halfords

Ask for puncture repair kits

[Pre-Chorus]

It's a never event

You would never believe me

But I'll still send some love

[Chorus]

You won't hear it

I'll still send it anyway

Why not?

[Bridge]

I've got five wheels on my wagon

And I'm still rolling along

I ain't got all my peace of mind

At least I've got some

I'll always carry a spare

There's always more to come

I'll chuck my lucky legs in my baggy shorts

Stroll up the hill

Have a chat with Byron

Chat about sepsis on a sunny evening

[Outro]

It's a never event

You would never believe me