I find it hard to talk

With a black ball in my mouth

Impossible to fart

With carrots up my ass

My neighbors think I'm weird

I do agree

Whatever turns your crank

Are you into bizarre novelties?

I find it hard to walk

With my thumbs screwed into the floor

I travel to strange places

When left alone I explore

My neighbors think I'm sick

I do agree

Do not try this at home

Unless your into bizarre novelties