His name is Max, he's going to school

He doesn't wear a helmet 'cause he's so cool

He keeps his helmet on his bars

Darts out randomly in front of cars

Talks on his phone while rollin' down the street

He even has a girlfriend, isn't that sweet?

He hits on chicks even if they're skanky

He smells his pits; they're hella stanky

Okay, I just need to clarify one motherf**king thing

Max is a bad-ass motherf**ker

If you dont f**king believe me, then look at his motherf**king helmet on his motherf**king handlebars!

Holy s**t, that guy is hardcore!

Oh yeah - he swears a s**tload, and everyone knows that's f**king awesome!

What's this?

Is this is a hardcore part?

Yeah!

Just like Max!

His name is Max!

He doesn't wear a helmet!

He keeps it on his handlebars!

He's failing all his classes!

And he's only... 10?

What? I thought he was like 26!

So you're telling me that I wrote this badass song about a 10-year old?

You know what? I don't care if he's 10, or 50, or even a freakin' baby!

He's still more hardcore than I'll ever be, and I'm 32!

Wait, Max! Watch out for your helmet!

Max didn't wear his helmet

Now he has suffered a concussion

And he will be in a coma for the next three weeks

But it was worth it because

Helmets make you look really geeky

Why do I sound like a bad a rip-off of the Red Hot Chili Peppers?