[Intro: Brendan Blaber]

My dear friends!

TV is all about escapism, yet you want to escape?

C'mon and stay a while as I share with you the who, what, when, where, why, and how of my genius plan!

[Verse 1: Brendan Blaber, Brendan Blaber & Elsie Lovelock]

Our scene opens on a Little Mr. Puzzles

Now cut to him having no friends

It was a struggle to find anybody who could be my buddy

So instead, I watched TV all day to forget about my troubles!

[Verse 2: Brendan Blaber, Elsie Lovelock]

I was obsessed, I couldn't stop, I wouldn't stop (No!)

Until I'd seen every moving picture that exists!

So he made a decision to get into television

I cut off my face and put a TV in its place! (Ooh-ooh-ooh-wah!)

[Bridge: Brendan Blaber & Elsie Lovelock]

Patience is a virtue (Ooh-wah, ooh-wah)

Good things come to those who wait

Proverbs uttered by utter fools

I'll do anything it takes!

[Chorus: Brendan Blaber, Elsie Lovelock, Both]

(Are you ready for trouble?)

Got ya binge watching!

(You're stuck with Mr. Puzzles!)

You can't stop me from cooking up this instant classic (Ooh-wah)

You and your friends will look fantastic!

(The red carpet is rolled out!)

Come and get your tickets!

(Before they're all sold out!)

Don't wanna miss this moment (Ooh-wah)

When those stars hit five

I get creative control of your real life!

[Interlude: Brendan Blaber]

Ladies and gentlemen, excuse the interruption

The following message goes out to the stars of our show: The SMG4 Crew!

And we're rolling, let's go!

[Verse 3: Brendan Blaber]

You wanna know why I chose you?

You wanna know why I chose you?

'Cause you're the stupidest show that I've ever seen!

And if I can make you entertaining, I can do anything! (Hahaha)

[Chorus: Brendan Blaber, Elsie Lovelock, Both]

(Are you ready for trouble?)

Got ya binge watching!

(You're stuck with Mr. Puzzles!)

You can't stop me from cooking up this instant classic (Ooh-wah)

You and your friends will look fantastic! (Ooh-ooh-ooh, wah)

(The red carpet is rolled out!)

Come and get your tickets!

(Before they're all sold out!)

Don't wanna miss this moment (Ooh-wah)

When those stars hit five

I get creative control of your real

Grab a seat and seal the deal! (Ooh-wah)

When those gorgeous stars hit five

I get creative control of your real life!

[Outro: Brendan Blaber]

(Wah-hahaha, ooh-hahaha)

And scene!