[Verse]
Sometimes I wonder what this would be like
If I never reached down and picked up a mic
8 with a lot on my plate
Mama was stressing, my pops bout to break
Brother & sisters was in their rooms playing, I'll never forget what I thought on that day
Watching them go through the stack of bills by the door & wonder just how they would pay
Watching my mama cry
That left me traumatized
All cause of wallet size
The economy sucked & then trying to finding a job was like
Searching for a needle in a haystack
The way my pop worked was ridiculous
Then went to school at night, got stressed out, came home yelling "God am I sick of this!
I just keep stressing & yelling, I'm hurting inside
Am I gon work till I die?
Am I gon get early curtains cause my blood pressure rose, I am certain that I can do better than this!"
So young but I still saw the hurt in his eyes, the burden & strife
They ain't deserving this life
They'd argue, I heard em at night
I cried & I felt so useless like man
Accident child, I ruined their plans
In my room drawing up stupid lil plans
All I wanted was a tool in my hands
Wanted to go sell an O in the street
But no one would front me the tree
No one would front me a key
No one was running w me
Wanted to up & just leave
School full of rich kids & that made me feel even more alone
All this stuff we couldn't afford to own
These people never needed mortgage loans
& I ain't need the money for me
I wanted to put my parents in a gorgeous home
And throw em 2 sets of the keys
Tell em "Don't worry bout a thing, it's yours to own"
[Hook]
I lost myself along the way in who I thought you were to me
I lost myself along the way
God, I'm falling, that's why I'm calling you
Could you help me find my way?
I lost myself along the way
[Outro]
Lost and you just can't save me
This is the life that I know & it made me
This is why I can't commit to her lately
This is why music is the only thing that makes me whole
Walking in the rain & cold to a Walmart after school for a 9 hour shift
Just to make it home
11 at night, then homework, then class at 8 in the morn
Gotta make music on top of that, can't call fam cause I'm drinking now
But when I lay down to sleep, I promise you're all that I think about