First Man - Intellectual

[Verse 1]

The last time I got personal on a record, I got embarrassed

On my debut I was really just spitting out feelings careless

I didn't know how unbearable it would later be for me

Somedays I really wish I was born without any self-awareness

I always see people that are way too hard on themselves

I see so much self-hatred, when I meet new people, I'm overwhelmed

I never really feel that I'm parallel to anyone else

But I always feel compеlled to help other pеople excel

For someone who's stubborn, I definitely put my neck out for others

I don't have many ride or dies, but for them, I got them covered

They've put up with my bullshit, no matter how ridiculous

Being ubiquitous helped me find my people, serendipitous

I used to be around people who'd give me shit for being listlessness

But I'm not a fucking workaholic, for my pace please show some diligence

Don't ever take me back to the time where I legitimately thought I had levels to clumb

And for fucking what? I'm just a hazy little artist, I always have been

I'm glad to see the people who used to fuck with me are has-beens

But I didn't like when they tried to crown me as the dickhead kingpin

Their poor reputations, they think they're ruined, but they're nonexistent

"Get a life" they tell me, how bout you learn about some friendship

None of yall could keep any of that shit up cuz you're pretentious

Full of tension, low reception, always offended, pretty senseless

[Chorus]

I never wanna be the best

Please don't mess this up for me

But sometimes proving the doubters wrong does sound pretty good to me

The first man on the moon

Because the rest were gone too soon

Some days I'm still scared, but I don't think anything will change me

[Verse 2]

Alright, after acting kinda pompous, let's discuss my problems

I'm way too stubborn, arrogant, sometimes I'm pretty thoughtless

I balance people's attention like a clown that's going jobless

I always complain about feeling left out

When I don't see how much I'm involved with shit I could do without

I have issues juggling my meaning of having fun

Can't tell if I wanna be in bed or out fucking about in the sun

My first relationship ended out of me being bored

But shit, how was she supposed to know that's what I was feeling toward

A high school relationship, something I didn't expect

I thought a freak like me would get the traditional reject

After all, I can't recall having any friends then that would reflect

On their time with me, so her time with me was rewarding

We'd bond over negativity, which kinda sounds daunting

I didn't know if showing her my best friends would be disconcerting

But I couldn't try anyways, to her that wasn't engrossing

I felt I had to get out, it wasn't all that bad

But when she wants to do nothing, it feels like your dating a sandbag

I felt pretty bad, I had never necessarily dumped anybody

If someone pissed me off, I could forgive them easy

But romantic feelings aren't the same

If something's not perfect, it feels like a waste of time