When i was a lot younger— I have these memories of when i was a lot younger, but they’re not in any way vivid. No direct images— It doesn’t matter. There was this implicit knowledge that he fought to get into this country, a real bootstrap kind of guy, like an absolute fucking force of life, yeah? Beaten the shit out of but held the line, really stuck his hand in the Dune box. I hear what he did to get here, I feel the hеat coming off his skin as he talks about the privilegе of life in America, he was so big about it— I remember that, in the exaggerated way my brain depicts these things, and I think about how terrified I am to be in the world I am now. I think he’d want me to worry less, worry about myself if I was going to. Thea said he’d be proud of me. I hope she’s right