[Verse 1]

And he said...

"Hello, darling, have we met before?

"Weren't you the one who knew the bloke next door?

"Do you remember when we used to date?

"Didn't you go out with my brother's mate?"

[Chorus]

Course we don't remember, remember, remember

You know we don't remember, remember

You're not our mate

And we didn't date

[Refrain]

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-way (Way, way, way...)

[Verse 2]

And then he goes...

"Do you remember back in '93?

"You were the one who really fancied me

"You used to hang out with my mate, Paul

"He said you said you thought that I was cool."

[Chorus]

Course we don't remember, remember, remember

You know we don't remember, remember

There was no Paul

At our girl's school

[Chorus]

Course we don't remember, remember, remember

You know we don't remember, remember

You're not our mate

We didn't double date

[Refrain]

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-way (Way, way, way...)

[Bridge]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

[Verse 3]

And then he came out with...

"We met each other two years ago

Talked about fleas and things and, well, you know?

You must remember, look at me

You were both drunk and you got off with me."

[Chorus]

Course we don't remember, remember, remember

You know we don't remember, remember

We wouldn't snog

Such an ugly gob

[Chorus]

Course we don't remember, remember, remember

You know we don't remember, remember

You're not our mate

We didn't double date

[Chorus]

Course we don't remember, remember, remember

You know we don't remember

You're not Jack-the-lad

But Jack-the-sad