I’ll Never Understand

By Shad

On When This Is Over

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(Bernadette)

The killers

You’ve invaded my nights

Singing your haunting lullaby

Drowning other voices

Choking, suffocating, numbing

Sending me to sleep

You’ve awakened me many mornings

Like an unexpected alarm

Shattering my dreams

Confusing, terrorizing, traumatizing

I’ve talked to you in tears and anger

Spat on you in rage

Whispered to you in sorrow

Tied you in chains

Thrown you in jail

I’ve pulled you out

Asked you many questions

Knowing there would be no answers...

(Shad)

I’ll never understand how flesh being torn apart feels

Or how after all this suffering a heart heals

On the rich green fields where they killed old and young

Cold and numb, under the light of a golden sun

It still stuns, tell me what possesses man

To, in anger, raise his hand?

I’ll never understand...

(Bernadette)

I tied you in chains

Again and again, round and round

Until the chains, in my dizziness

Bound me to you

You and I becoming one!

Bound by the chains of hate

I knew then the choices to make...

(Shad)

I’ll never understand how it felt

When my mom lost her dad

Her sister and the only brother that she ever had

And I’ll never know what’s more sad

The fact they could’ve been spared

Or the fact that to this day nobody cares

For the innocent

Victims of a full-fledged holocaust

Because folks only holler if the cost

Of dollars lost is high

So regardless of the number of lives

When poor blacks die

They always turn a blind eye

And I’ll never understand why...

(Bernadette)

I untied the chains

Letting go of those who converged on my dad

Beating, pounding

Leaving him dead

I untied the chains

Letting go of those who propelled the grenade

Scattering my brother’s brains

I untied the chains

Letting go of those who knifed my sister’s throat

Leaving her begging for a better death

I untied the chains

Painfully, purposefully

Knowing the one who said to do it Seventy times seven

Totally understands the depth of my pain...

(Shad)

I’ll never understand how people can go on and live

The miracle of finding the strength to forgive

To resurrect peace, to close up wounds so deep

They pierce souls beneath heart beats

To be a willful slave to a loving God’s commands

The key to a freedom that I’ll never understand