[Lish]

Yo real shit, sometimes I hate being a server

It makes my nerves irk, didn't think I could deserve worse

[Smevz]

Guy says he'll take care of you and leaves a buck, what a dick

Why is it, the ones promisin' tips are the ones that leave you shit

[Lish]

You see the tits on that chick at table six?

Too bad dude she's with is both a douche and a cheese dick

[Smevz]

Table sixty-two, an iffy dude sittin' in a spiffy suit

In solitude and awfully rude, probably waitin' on his prostitute

[Lish]

Fuck this entire family of slobs in my section

Tonight was gonna be my night off, how am I to expect this?

[Smevz]

Fantastic, they got an ass itch over a sandwich?

Fuck that shit, I hope this fat bitch chokes on a fat dick

[Lish]

Yo Smevz, look at my section, it's thrashed, a fuckin' mess

Shit all over the tables and walls, I'm not impressed

When you go out to dine, this is how you dress?

Let me guess, they'll leave me no tip, dammit I'm vexed and upset

[Smevz]

I'm lovin' how this fat ass has these wings on his plate

Thirty and they're deep fried, greasified, but wait!

With a light ranch and diet coke goin' in his face

You know I'm hopin' for the moment that his fuckin' chair breaks

[Lish]

Some say this job is great, tips benefit if you're minimum wage

Walk out with stacks of cash every night after work, you're on your way

Servin' these suckers night after night gets kinda played

I'm just tryin' to make my livin' and you treat me like a slave

[Smevz]

I'm on a mission assistin' the biggest bitch in the buildin'

Who's sittin', rippin' chicken off of all the wings like she's clippin'

And it's the image envisioned that she'll be tippin' me shit

And then I'll be flippin' out the kitchen window screamin' I'M QUITTIN'

[Lish]

Don't tell me all the same jokes I've heard before

You're a bore, and guess what? Your wife looks like a whore

I'm sore, from listenin' to your stupid fuckin' punchlines

Why must I, in fact your wife makes me wanna muff dive

[Smevz]

"I want the fish. Wait, tell me your specials instead, dude!"

That's not exactly knowledge you'll only find on Neptune

If you're actually askin' me that, perhaps I shouldn't respect you

I'm sorry your sorry ass can't read a god damn menu

[Lish]

Look at this chump, he has to shake his fuckin' glass at me

Oh no, you need another iced tea? What a fuckin' catastrophe!

[Smevz]

Will someone shut that baby up? It's gettin' so loud

I'm about to go around and slap its ass to the ground!

[Lish]

I'm done with just roughin' it, this fuckin' bunch is disgustin'

Another luncheon I'm stuck with that's always buggin' for somethin'

[Smevz]

They part with three bucks for everything that I give these slobs?

Carpe deez nuts, god damn I can't wait to quit this job!