There's something wrong, I'm not getting it on

And I'm definitely not getting off

The only action that I've seen in three months

Was when the doctor said, "Turn your head and cough"

Erection, erection

It's hard

Erection, erection

Oh God

The best I've done of late in getting some ass

Was sitting on the Amoco toilet seat

My little problem isn't going away

No matter how fast or how often I beat

Erection, erection

It's hard

Erection, erection

Oh God

Get me off now

I almost got a little pussy last week

Cleaning the litter box in my living room

My palms are hairy and my balls are blue

I need some action, and I need it real soon

Erection, erection

It's hard

Erection, erection

Oh God

Erection, erection [x3]

Erection

Somebody please get these poor rocks off