I met a boy at a potluck brunch

Sipping on dumpster Hawaiian punch

He was a vegan with a heart of kale

He kissed my neck and began to wail...

"Do it yourself

Dumpster dive

Eat that strawberry, you'll survive

Do it yourself

Dumpster dive

Eat that muffin, eat me alive"

He wore stolen Converse and liked The Clash

I'd never eaten out of the trash

He offered me his beans and roots

I helped myself to his gluten-free glutes

Do it yourself

Dumpster dive

Eat that strawberry, you'll survive

Do it yourself

Dumpster dive

Eat that muffin, eat me alive

On seventh avenue I showed him my bagel

We sat by a fountain and I read him some Hegel

And then we dumpstered lots of schmear

By Christopher Street, along the pier

Do it yourself

Dumpster dive

Eat that strawberry, you'll survive

Do it yourself

Dumpster dive

Eat that muffin, eat me alive

I searched through his junk like a detective

I woke up in an anarchist collective

Something I ate made me glow in the dark

Beware of picnics in Prospect Park

Do it yourself

Dumpster dive

Eat that strawberry, you'll survive

Do it yourself

Dumpster dive

Eat that muffin, eat me alive

Eat that muffin, eat me alive

Eat that muffin, eat me alive

Cha cha cha