[Intro]

Lots of cumstains

Cumstains everywhere (mostly mine)

Cumstains in your hair (mostly mine)

[Verse 1]

You probably walked in here early Saturday

And noticed a bunch of different hundreds of kinds of stains

Mostly mine, mostly everyone's mine

Mostly mine, every single stain mine

[Verse 2]

Santa came by, asked if I was naughty or nice

And where did all these cumstains come from

I said, "Ha! They're mostly mine, mostly mine

Jolly old Saint Nick, those cumstains are mostly mine!"

Santa said, "I'm not gonna come here nеxt year!"

I said, "I will, many times"

Whoa-ho-ho, the cumstain's minе

[Segue]

You better not come back here, I got d-, d-

I haven't shaved my pubes in a long time!