[Intro]

Faster than a speeding bullet

More powerful than a locomotive

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound

This amazing stranger from the planet Krypton, the Man of Steel—

[Verse 1: Samsa]

Yo, I’m not your average superhero, I don’t wear a cape or tights

And you won’t catch me slingin' webs through cityscapes, I’m scared of heights

I’m not your textbook superhero, I can’t levitate or fly

But if you pass the Sunday crossword, I won’t hesitate to try

I’m not the type of vigilante who goes off avengin' homicides

More the kind to just correct a comma splice

Constructive criticism supervillain, yes, I’m honest when I prompt advice

But even when a novice writes, I always leave my comments nice

Leap buildings in a single bound, y’all should see the way my fingers race

Through city streets of letter keys, whether double or single-spaced

Faster than a speeding bullet, if you’re talkin' words per minute

Write so comprehensive, each bullet point holds the world within it

Power like a locomotive, discipline of Sage strength

Essays that I write are twenty pages past the page length

Not the Man of Steel, but when I sit to write, I’ve got no Kryptonite

As long as I’ve got coffee I can sip tonight

Call me Cyclops, I’ve got laser vision page revision

Not a next gen X-Men, but I’m crazy with the red pen

Mutant when I’m writin', yes, my drafts have got evolvin' genes

Watch me wieldin' clauses like I’m Wolverine and cause a scene

[Verse 2: Headhaunter]

I’m not your average superhero, I don’t mask my voice like this

Secret identity’s dull, I don’t see a point in it

I’m not out here to save the world on day/night protocols

I just take my pride in sentence structure, phase right through the walls of text

Polished, read a second time, kind of like Professor X

But I read essay lines instead of minds until they're all correct

Triple-check that proper punctuation ends it

Perfect verbs with fantastic nouns like Ben Grimm

Spin webs of any size and catch a reader’s attention

Nab plagiarists like flies, I write with tingling senses

Swing right overhead with lines of super tensile strength

Fingers type like streaks of light, whether past or present-tense

I arrive just in time, type more than Cyborg

Not Robin, no red or green underline eye sores

I channel Raven, write in style of Edgar Allen Poe

No green eyes, but tackle any beast of rhetoric that you know, yeah

They can call me any hour, but they view it as a lesser power

When my essays get an A on top, like Avenger's Tower

In the meantime, I think I’ll go into hiding

Reckless vigilante with his helmet on, still writing