Friday night honey when I came home and baby I was tired as I can be

I saw this coat hanging up on the rack where I know my coat ought to be

I said to my man look here darlin man come here

Please explain this mess to me...

Whose coat is that coat hanging on the rack

Where I know my coat ought to be

He said, wife, oh my darlin wife sweetheart, can't you plainly see

That ain't nothing but an old choir robe

That your preacher left here for me

Now I have traveled this world for many miles

And darlin, I hope to travel more

But I ain't never seen a choir robe with a fur collar on it before!

Saturday night honey when I got home I was still tired as I tired can be

Oh baby there was some shoes outside my door where I KNOW my shoe are supposed to be

Now I said to my man Darling man you better REALLY explain this mess to me

Whose shoe are those shoes outside the door where you know my shoes supposed to be?

He said oh Wife oh my darlin wife sweat heart can't you plainly see

That ain't nothing but an old a pair of rain boots and my momma sent them to me

Now I have traveled this world for a many miles and I sure hope to travel more

I ain't never seen rain boots with Spiked heels on it before

Well Last night when I come home tired as I can be

Oh darling there was a head lying in my bed where I know my heads supposed to be?

Again I called my Man MY darlin Man honey I said you better explain this mess to me

Whose head is that head in the bed where my head is supposed to be

He said Oh my wife oh my tired wife sweetheart can't you plainly see

That ain't nothing but an old cabbage head and baby you know what? Your Momma sent that to me?

Well darlin I have traveled this world for a many miles and I know

I’m gonna to travel more but I ain't never in my life seen a cabbage head with a hair net on it before?

Well I don’t know who he thinks he's dealing with I guess he been here just a little too long

I might as well remind you darlin that before I come home tomorrow night you better check your keys

Cuz I’m not listen to this crap any more if you would check it out

You will now see your keys don't fit in my door no more darlin

And no one sent that door here that’s the same one that been here all the time

I just called the locksmith in and I’m sorry about that back on up back up and go back to

Where ever that cabbage head is go back to there

Cuz you ain't got no right here and I mean I've had it I’ve had it up to here

And I’m not going to say my darlin man no more cuz you are not my darlin man

In fact if you want to be safe you better start running you know what

Do you see this package I got in my hand this is ain't no Christmas present either

What does it look like to you

A SHOT GUN you ain't never lying let’s see how fast you can move

Ah Listen I know.. you better put some glasses on cuz you are really the blind one here

Take a good look baby and I’ll tell ya I got one shell and I am admit I am an expert shooter

And the back of your foot will make and excellent target

MOVE get out of here you stinking liar get outta here better get out of here.. I never in my life!

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