It’s all on me

Look at me, I’ve denied joy

There's only comfort in my misery

Any love shown, felt so undeserving

Pushed away those that were any good to me

It’s all on me, can’t you see?

I’m the only one who’s got me on my knees

Chained to the pain that just won’t let me breathe

Chained to the pain

When the sun shines, I look away

Because my whole life, I felt the shade was meant for me

Words like “dad, home, love, hope” seemed so far away

The shit seemed more like make believe

It’s been thirty years and it’s getting old

I don’t want to feel like this anymore

I want to run towards the sun, find me in myself

Smile more, wouldn’t that be something else?