[Verse 1]

Can I introduce myself

I'm a man of panache and wealth

Sound in mind, body, soul and health

Why I wanna kill my wife

I have this urge to take her life

Been planing for years to get rid of her

Not divorce I really do mean to kill her

She's so full of useless information and trivia

That's why I wanna kill my wife

I have a duty to take her life

[Verse 2]

Her stupid friends get right up my nose

They all wear annoyingly sensible clothes

They're so bleeding grandiose

You know why I should kill her friends

They're all driving Mercedes Benz

[Chorus]

He'll escape down into Mexico

Sell the house and find a nice young girl

He'll laugh and sing and he won't work anymore

[Verse 3]

Should I string her up or strangle her in bed

Suffocate that little venomous head

Or perhaps I'll just whip her to death

Listen do me a favor kill my wife

Do it for mankind take her life

Or should I act quite cold and deliberate

Or maybe blow out her brains with a bullet

They'll think suicide they won't know who done it

I'm gonna kill my wife I'm really gonna take her life

[Chorus]

He'll escape down into Mexico

Sell the house and find a nice young girl

He'll laugh and sing and he won't work no more

[Verse 4]

The moment of truth has come

I'm at the point of no return

I've got my hands locked round her throat

I'm about to kill my wife

Don't stop me now I'm gonna take her life

Too late now I'm gonna kill my wife

Can't help myself I'm gonna take her life

[Chorus]

Telephone rang and he woke from his sleep

His wife snoring soundly next to him

It was all a very nasty dream