[Hook]:
Ooh I end up looking wild
If you would talk to me
End up seeing lies
Eyes fall to my feet
End up so confused
Please say who got me
End up so confused
Please say who got
[Verse 1]:
This my journal entry number 45
In the AM 4:45
Causing mayhem with a gray pen, I'm fortified
Can't seem to think of the right words
So I'm painting another portrait I'm
Mortified
But if anybody asks, I'm more than fine
Why you gotta be murdered to be immortalized?
That's the question
That's been pressing me
Asking if you have to step to the
Rhythm of another man who set the scene
Feeling that I'm getting back is telling me, that
Faith is just a way to justify
The things we can't explain but must provide
And stay so damn complacent, trust the sky
Stay some damn complacent, done with lies
But then again, man
Why am I never questioning, when
Things end up working out for me, like he looking out for me
Feeling so conflicted
If I restore that faith
Will the weight that stays on shoulders lift?
It's way too hard to say but I'm lost in a daze and closing vision
Stumble right through shutter island
I am my worst enemy
Humbled by the shit that I've been
Fighting 2017
Sins and secrets buried 6 feet deep inside my memory
Begin to see that resurrecting and accepting these'll set me free
[Hook]:
Ooh I end up looking wild
If you would talk to me
End up seeing lies
Eyes fall to my feet
End up so confused
Please say who got me
End up so confused
Please say who got
[Verse 2]:
This my journal entry number 46, stop and write
Fortune is unfortunate if genius will cost a price
Or maybe I'm spending my 2 cents buying into false ideas
But this start of fear is crawling here right up my wind pipe
If this mind of mine is a vehicle for thought and sight
How long before the van goes (Van Gogh) off the edge on this starry night
And the front door snaps and blows like right off it's hinges
Crash dummy smacked back and forth till he tossed and bent in
Ways so unnatural think he lost his senses
Now, straight jacket strapped in cold stuck with four syringes
Ah
Is it the curse of creativity that cause imagination to bare claws then break out it's cage and spar
Then Consume me like it did to Vincent, please no
How do I spit this foul line without a free throw
'Cause nothing is free
No handouts be thrown in ten ways
They want me to play and move bold and bull headed like MJ but
[Bridge]:
Twenty three is not my number
It's just the world
Thinks that I am the one
But this kid has just begun
But this kid has just begun
[Hook]:
Ooh I end up looking wild
If you would talk to me
End up seeing lies
Eyes fall to my feet
End up so confused
Please say who got me
End up so confused
Please say who got
[Verse 3]:
This my journal entry number 47
Last page in my diary
Tryna speak for just a quarter second
Past days I've been finding peace
Now Im seeing that I'm more than blessed and
Can't say for sure that I'm complete
But finally I feel my soul progressing
Funny how naive you gotta be to Lean Back
And expect something to catch and caress you and ease that
Stress and grief, but best believe it still brought you to all fours
Now you set all belief in yourself and then Fall Forward
Disconnected, dying trust for the higher ups
But you a prideful one
Thought you didn't need no help, so defiant but
Eventually the burden starts hurting, insides are crushed
Eventually burden starts burning till your mind combusts
Really thought you had a chance, at a glance
That's too bad, here come the ambulance and the firetruck
Can't command where you end up, but the plan is to End Up
By that I mean past the land with no sky above
I don't believe what I know and I don't know what I believe
But what I need is to have faith that things will come together sooner
Than later, can't place all of my faith in a God or in my name, all I got is my Faith in the Future