[Verse]

You know, I’m a loser, don’t lie to me

I’m ugly and I’m proud to be

All of that just allows for me

To focus on what’s in front of me

Am I gonna be great?

Is all of this fate?

I ain’t taking no breaks

Took a 15 to put a pen to the page

Keep your 15, I ain’t looking for fame

Buckets of tears that fills up the lake

I’m tryna heal so I replace it with paint

If I’mma drown and die in what I create

A genuine smile, finally beautiful face

Wanna make art before I decay

Can’t believe it’s been a decade

Thats why it feels like heaven and hell

Maybe I really did kill myself but fuck it

I got strong enough to hold all these buckets

Mulan, turn your hard work to nothing

I’m fighting real battles, I’m gunning

Waist deep in the mud, I’m trudging

Never ending story, I got the Auryn

Lost my Artax, sad swamp ain’t foreign

Life is a movie and all of it’s boring

Still find having no purpose important

Homebody, don’t mind a lived life dormant

Nobody expected much from this doormat

Blue Lips on rotation, first, I queue the fourth track

Good mostly temporary, yeah, now I know that

Soul is always equipped with the low pass

Left charcoal black, useless like my tote bags

As useful as buying skin care

All I see is a lot of tricks there

As if I can keep up with monthly up keep

As if fifty bucks can change my ugly

Is it really luck, why can’t I change some things?

Can I break this curse for the kin I up-bring?

Worried about right now, not thinking offspring

I won’t have any, won’t get my last name

If I did, word to fam, they’d get the tough genes

Like raw denim blue

The red tainted hue

Just asking for the truth

Whether or not you present the proof

Paint my face, the make up of the fools

Staying tight lipped has loosened a screw

Shooting at school

Ducking for cover or pick up the tool

Worked all my life and can’t afford jewels

Didn’t follow rules, had to fend for my own

They thought I was shrewd, I felt cracks in my bones

Under pressure, can’t catch relief from my woes

I figured out how to draw blood from a stone

Building walls with every tablet they’ve thrown

Thought I’d earn love with the talent I’ve shown

The time I poured in, am I worth it yet?

Is it your fault I feed into disrespect?

Said I was too quiet, like the fuck did you expect?

You have no idea how bad it gets

Subtle mistakes always feel like life or death

Meditate on a solution as I lie in bed

No one ever made note that the tooth is bent

Objective imperfection, take a compliment

Urge not to trust just gets more intense

Pick and pry every unfortunate event

Pinch like I have sumn underneath my skin

Ingrown hair, my patience wears thin

Patchy beard but I’m supposed to be a man

And I make it worse when I fidget with my hands

Gross and underwhelming every time they get close

Chose drugs to help me, ketamine up the nose

Approach my proximity, you’ll lead me to the coast

Cloak of security, protect me when it snows

No one knows me for real anymore, mm

Mask on when I walk through the door, mm

I appreciate the thought, of course but

In public I’m a walking corpse

I know myself more than ever

I’m not off topic, each track is clever

I’m the one with the hand on the lever

Railroad train of thought, that’s effort

Said you love my voice, you better

I won’t shut the fuck up, no never

Broke boy spitting diamonds, got treasure

Stone skin, heart of gold in the center

That’s why she fell in love when I met her

That’s why I’m a fucking god with these letters

You don’t get it

This the happy ending

I just climbed a mountain, the sun is setting

Need debut to drop or drop in cemetery

Necessary when I’m killed

Like all of time is standing still

Tell me, who know how that feel?

I found power through my skill

Too many hours to count to build

“Cool little hobby”, when I’m tryna heal

Climb up the valley and over the hill

Feeling too happy, comparison steals

Jump over the fence and dig in my heels

Zacate ain’t green, it’s starting to peel

Life always been a little less than ideal

I got a void that nothing can fill

Don’t you judge when you see how I deal

Don’t interrupt when I stomp on my field

The flowers will grow, just need a meal

In album mode, I don’t want a mill’

Always on go, don’t know how to chill

Pick up the flow ‘fore I pick up the steel

Avant-garde artist, I haven’t got frills

Came from the dirt, I turn to my shell

Shelter first memory of home, what else?

Make lyrics of everything I conceal

Think it’s my fault, I hike with the guilt

Hope you understand, you find that you will

Just don’t stop, keep listening, for real, bitch