Seeking through the flames

The blaze

Through all my days

Hoping to forgive beyond my irrational gaze

The somber silence

Cuts so deep

I know you can't find it

You just can't see

All the violence

Behind the scenes

I'm a convicted criminal

Stuck in jail for free

It's melancholy

Hurts my body

But nobody

Sees what's on me

Although I cry

Cry for a way out

I trapped myself inside

Where no one can hear my cries

Cut by cut, the clock keeps ticking

Dissociation from reality sickened

I'm hanging by a loosened thread

Dysphoric and nauseatingly full of dread

I've seen shit no one could ever comprehend

Every time I smile, it feels like playing pretend

I'm afraid, it isn't hard to tell

'Cause I don't feel safe within myself

You aren’t me

You just wanna be

You aren’t me

You’re not a real part of me

You aren’t me

I'm done with the trickery

You aren’t me

You're just my enemy!

Do I enjoy this pain?

As I play this game

There’s pointed blame

They’re all the same

The burning fire

That lies in my heart

It burns and hurts

But it warms it up

This isn’t me

I cannot be

What all these people

Are calling me

A freak, you think you understand me?

You bicker and figure that it cannot be

And I just find it all so funny

'Cause this is all I ever wanted

Can I tear off this mask yet?

Or do you want me to just fade away?

Clawing until it bleeds

But you can't seem to just look the other way

Being tortured by myself

Yet a thing that isn't me

All I've known and all I've seen

Who exactly do you think I'd be?

Are you fucking happy yet?!

Are you proud of all this blood I've shed?!

My duality takes over me

My name shall die in infamy

I can't take this pain anymore

This cynical point of view is killing me

Endlessly tearing away

It hurts to breathe anyway!

You aren’t me

You just wanna be

You aren’t me

You’re not a real part of me

You aren’t me

I'm done with the trickery

You aren’t me

You're just my enemy!

Do I enjoy this pain?

As I play this game

There’s pointed blame

They’re all the same

The burning fire

That lies in my heart

It burns and hurts

But it warms it up

This isn’t me

I cannot be

What all these people

Are calling me

A freak, you think you understand me?

You bicker and figure that it cannot be

And I just find it all so funny

'Cause this is all I ever wanted

Demented visions flicker

Seizing control of me!

I just want you out of my head

For the painless way I end up dead

FUCK!

Sacrifice my darker half

Cut it out of my body!

I never wanted any of this

This malignant mindset infecting me

Do I enjoy this pain?

As I play this game

There’s pointed blame

They’re all the same

The burning fire

That lies in my heart

It burns and hurts

But it warms it up

This isn’t me

I cannot be

What all these people

Are calling me

Do I enjoy this pain?

As I play this game

There’s pointed blame

They’re all the same

The burning fire

That lies in my heart

It burns and hurts

But it warms it up

This isn’t me

I cannot be

What all these people

Are calling me

A freak, you think you understand me?

You bicker and figure that it cannot be

And I just find it all so funny

'Cause this is all I ever wanted

AGH!!

FUCK!!