Chuck is a guy; does Kung Fu

Gotta score dates at a TV show

Take the base and

Once he's gone, kick you in the face

Not the smartest martial artist

Flying jets is way too hard

It's Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck Chu- Chu- Chu- Chu- Chuuuuuuuuuck!

Dick is a guy; got no price

And he's gotta job (you ride, you ride)

He sells used cars

He can't fly jets

No money down in a big cash-back

Can't take a deal when he's behind the wheel

And a car he sells starts making a steal

Dick Dick Dick Dick Di- Di- Di- D- Diiiiiiick!

Chuck Norris cannot fly an F-14

Dick Norris cannot fly an F-15

Neither one of them can fly a f**kin' B-2 Bomber!)

(holla!...)

Chuck and Dick are not related

Chuck's been in Sports Illustrated

Can't hit a baseball though, so

Kick you in the face with a Kung Fu blow

Got a TV show (why's he gotta get shot every episode?)

Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck Chu- Chu- Chu- Chu- Chuck!

Chuck Chuck Chuck--Chu- Chu- Chu- Chu- Chuck!

The eyes of the ranger are upon you

When you do, he's gonna see

When you're in Texas, look behind you

Cuz that's where the ranger's gonna be

Dick is a guy; got no price

And he's gotta job (you ride, you ride)

He sells used cars

He can't fly jets

No money down in a big cash-back

Can't take a deal when he's behind the wheel

And a car he sells starts making a steal

Dick Dick Dick Dick Di- Di- Di- D- Diiiiiiick!

Dick Norris cannot fly an Apache copter

Chuck Norris cannot fly a B-2 bomber

Neither one can fly an F-14 Tomcat

An F-117

A stealth jet (fighter jet)

(fighter?)

(what?)

(plane!)

Chuck Norris

Dick Norris

(X4)

KUNG FU! (test drive!)

(X8)