Left Behind - Intellectual

[Verse 1: Rekap]

I used to live in the future but now I'm stuck in the past

My memories are like movies and I keep on running them back

Repeated scenes I've seen so many times, still stunned and aghast

At how my life could be different if I weren't such an ass

So many verses I spat just so I could adjust my label

Craved attention so badly that I could devour a plateful

But I tried so hard to be seen I forgot to set the right angle

Then the camera rolled and I was told I acted disgraceful

Damn, and I had homies who'd show me so much love

But at the time it just never felt like it was enough

Chasing validation from people who didn't give a fuck about me

Leaving the ones who really did behind in the dust

Because they always listened when I was bitching about feeling voiceless

But I ditched them for toxic folks I knew I should be avoiding

Yet I was so thirsty I was happy drinking poison

And all my friends who're warning me were drowned in a sea of voices

And I was so blind

And I know I can't just heal the scars, I've tried

I want to take it back and make it right

All that I've avoided to be fine

Sorry that I left you all behind

I'm waking up from dreams, that feel realer than life

And as I fight with my demons hear 'em scream in the dead of night

Now it's got me facing all the darkest [?] of my life

So I decide to scream just to get a glimmer of light

Hitting me right where it hurts, and fuck it might be absurd

But I'm saying sorry to people I haven't spoken a word to in years now

So I can make it clear how much I really changed and I can't be more sincere 'bout

Willing to make up for the errors in my ways every year gets more difficult to bear all of this weight

But I don't even know if I believe all that I say

When I'm repeating the same mistakes I made back in the day

Kicking myself until I reopen up my old scars and go far

But in my wake I leave behind some broke hearts yeah

And now everything I worry about is irrelevant

All that I think about is how I wish I could have been a better friend

And I was so blind

And I know I can't just heal the scars I've tried

I want to take it back and make it right

All that I've avoided to be fine

Sorry that I left you all behind