[Intro]

Yo, yo, yo

[Chorus]

Once upon a time up in Jersey, Yo!

Ha ha, I damn near had to wreck a ho

Yo, I knocked on her door

("Who is it?")

Ha ha, it's Funk Doc here to pay a little visit to ya

("Oh!")

I heard them niggas in The Bricks get smoked a lot

I heard them niggas out in Brooklyn get smoked a lot

I heard them niggas all Uptown get smoked a lot (Yo)

I heard them niggas out in Queens get smoked a lot (Yo, yo)

[Verse 1]

I smoke your buddha to the last drop like I was Maxwell

If blunts came in degrees, call me a blackbelt

I'm worldwide chinky (Ah-hah) who dub with chrome inkys (Ah-hah)

Chicken ridin' shottie and she boost all her dickie (He-heh)

This is your brain, this is my tape on drugs

If your lame ass can't feel it, then your cord unplugged

PPP smoked your weed, ain't nobody around

You just got clowned for a whole half a pound, check it out, now

I do a lot of stupid shit when I be smokin'

One time I left my truck runnin' in Brooklyn wide open

I forget who I call, ask for Nia (R - "Hello, can I talk to Nia?")

And it's Tonya (G - "NIA?!", R - "Oh shit!")

Click over (R - "Whassup bitch?".. "Oh, hi momma!")

Yo, when I'm on stage rhymin' I forget what state that I'm in

The bitches numbers I lost, my baby mama find 'em

I played the lottery, forty million that day

I probably won the motherfucker but I forgot that I played!

(Yo, yo, yo)

[Chorus]

Once upon a time up in Jersey, Yo!

Ha ha, I damn near had to wreck a ho (Haha! Haha)

Yo, I knocked on her door

("Who is it?")

Hah, it's Funk Doc here to pay a little visit to ya

("Oh, okay!")

I heard them niggas up in Cali get smoked a lot (Ha)

All them niggas in Atlanta get smoked a lot (Haha)

I heard them niggas in Virginia get smoked a lot

I heard them niggas in Rhode Island get smoked a lot

(Ayo-yo, yo)

[Verse 2]

When I get high I start throwin' water in the crowd

Battle MCs off the top, slaughterin' a child

Detroit call it Ganz (Ah-hah)

Miami call it Krip (Ah-hah)

No matter what you call it, it be peelin' back my shit!

(Aiyyo Cali niggas got Bomb!)

Shit, that same Bomb

Made me forget my mama's birthday and it's tattoed on my arm

I misplace my Lex keys everytime I be zee'd up

I was caught puttin' Christmas trees up, and it was Easter!

Do y'all motherfuckers feel high tonight?

Knowin' y'all niggas shouldn't drive tonight? (Haha)

Yo, however the plan go, close the Caravan door

So we can all die and get high off of secondhand smoke (Haha)

Brick City got the Pep, empty out your Black N' Milds

Smokin the L with Doc earn frequent flyer miles

I flew around the planet with my weed tucked in (Ah-hah)

I need to go to E.O. rehab, and sign my stankin ass in!

(Wassup, yo, yo!)

[Chorus]

Once upon a time up in Jersey, Yo!

Ah-hah, I damn near had to wreck a ho (Haha)

Yo, I knocked on her door

("Who is it?")

Yo, it's Funk Doc here to pay a little visit to ya (Yo, yo)

("Hee-hee!")

I heard them niggas in The Bronx get smoked a lot

I heard them niggas up in Yonkers get smoked a lot

I heard them niggas in Chi-Town get smoked a lot

I heard them niggas in Detroit get smoked a lot

[Outro]

Lot, lot, lot, lot

Yo, yo, yo, yo

(Yo!) Motherfucker!

Don't fuck around in The Bricks motherfucker

Rats'll whoop your ass over there motherfucker

Nigga got so much Backyard Boogie over there

The seeds'll kill you motherfucker, yeah!

Chickenheads'll rob you over there motherfucker

Sucker ass motherfucker

Fuck on outta here, haha!

Yo light that shit here!

[Skit: Female Reporter]

We gon' take you out, on W Fuck All Y'all radio!