[Ugh: Verse 1: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
Better sing real pretty, bud!
I could crush your bodies just like bugs!
But then there’d be so much blood!
Cleaning up would be…
Ugh…
No need to get intense!
Neither of us wanted to drop by!
Doesn’t really make much sense
Sentencing us to die!
Honestly, it’s soundin’ pretty tempting
Don’t know if I wanna hear
That cringe Elmo voice singin’ back for six minutes
If your rhymes ain’t fire, you’re toast! That clear?
If sick burns are really what you’re after
You’ve held up the perfect team!
I spent years perfecting my craft, while you Tankmen goofed off
Couldn’t even make the marines!
[Verse 2: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
Raggin on the tank?
Not that wise a start
When it’s aimed your way!
Man, you got some cojones!
I hope you’re not a one-trick pony!
You have no idea
What I’ve gotten through!
You might sing real tough
But I’ve outperformed tougher than you!
You think you’re tough?
Bout time you learned!
Real men ain’t fazed by crappy Kidz Bop burns!
Try not sucking on your next turn!
Just warming up!
Can’t do my worst
Til I learn how
I can hit you where it hurts!
[Verse 3: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
Let me show you how it’s done!
Don’t know why you’re looking so damn smug
When you’re standin’ four foot one
Bet you’re short there too…
Ugh…
Gonna hit beneath the belt
Tradin’ inappropriate zingers?
I bet all you’ve ever felt’s
Your own salad fingers!
I got standards, man! Take a look at yours!
(Ugh…)
Dating a teen with the brains of a door
While I rule the Tankmen patrolling this wasteland
Bein’ awesome, conquering every war!
Don’t insult Girlfriend! She’s the world to me!
When I kiss her, no thoughts, head empty
You raise your turret to blow grunts away
Cos you can’t have what comes to us naturally!
[Verse 4: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
If I give up, my whole team’ll perish!
They need me to lead the rush!
True bonds shared by men hold up far stronger than
Two dumb hormonal teenagers with a crush!
We’ve survived a creepy lemon monster
And each others’ bad decisions
And, even though it might make our lives tougher
We’re together, drop your derision, man!
[Ending: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
That’s real cute, but cute stuff’s lame!
Makes me wanna block it with earplugs
Up the rating on this game!
These verses have been…
Ugh…
You just can’t admit I won!
Can’t split us apart with those weak threats!
Keep on wavin’ round those guns
I ain’t goin’ down yet!
[Guns: Verse 1: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
On the field, it’s a bitter, cold and brutal warzone!
Things’ll turn out bad
If you’re left defenseless, buddy!
Nerves are steeled!
Did you really think I’d leave myself prone
When my girlfriend’s dad
Has a target printed on me?
Ah! So you’ve got
A devoted captain huntin’ you too?
Tryin’ real hard to sink your hopes of gettin’ funky
All night long with your date?
Yeah… but I just hold him back with rappin, wouldn’t do
Much good shooting up the guy who keeps my girlfriend housed and
Kept in good funkin’ shape!
Hey, ya know, don’t gotta shoot him down
There’s more than one way you can win the battle!
Snipers strike fear with a single round
Aimed where the sun don’t shine and leave ‘em all rattled!
What? No way!
Shooting him there would just be unsightly he’d be madder than he is already!
Even if it would affect him slightly, wouldn’t be able to keep my aim steady!
[Verse 2: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
That’s why you gotta learn 'bout usin' guns!
Who knows when you’ll need to fire?
And if you’re gonna learn how to fire one
Might as well wear the proper attire!
Think I’ll pass, pal!
Haven’t faced anything I couldn’t overcome
Singing til things worked out nicely!
Opening fire sounds reckless and dumb
And assault gear’s really pricey!
[Verse 3: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
That’s the fun part of fighting in this war!
Nothing else left to spend our cash on!
Loaded with weapons, armor, food and more!
Everybody gets a ration!
Got it now! You care lots about your team!
Want ‘em to be safe and sound, clearly!
Ready to fight, a well-oiled machine
That’s why you love guns so dearly!
Are you callin’ me a softie?
Those guys are just cannon fodder!
If I let them all die, no one would cover me!
Otherwise, why would I bother?
But doesn’t that mean that somewhere
In your heart past pain and panic
Much as you might deny, hidden, deep down in there
There’s a passion that’s titanic
[Verse 4: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
Heh, you got me there!
Love the whole second half of that movie, it’s thrilling!
'Specially the part where the iceberg hits the ship
And there’s hundreds of onscreen killings!
Shame a few of the lifeboats manage to steer away
And save the snobs fleein’
Always wondered what it’d be like
If I willed myself there to intervene…
Wait a second, what?
We were just talkin' about emotions and duty
Thought we were gonna have a breakthrough
Now you’re just talking about a movie?
Why don’t we just step back and try this again
Cos I know you’re more than a gun!
Even if you don’t care ‘bout most ‘of em
Bet you’re still lookin out for someone!
Stop tryin’ to be my therapist!
Anyway, where was I? Oh right!
I’d set up a big iceberg tank and
Shoot down fleeing lifeboats all night!
And it would fire smaller icebergs
That make the boats sink, drown out their screamin’
Then I’d go back home, eat some food
And think up more strategies while I’m dreamin!
How does that connect to anything?
You’re goin’ the wrong direction!
This part was gonna be the climax
With a meaningful connection!
I gave you such a perfect setup
To make your love of guns mean somethin’ more!
But you tossed it away to give movies that were just fine
Extra deaths and war!
[Ending: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
Told ya, kid, I’m fine, soundin’ like a creep
Coulda learned to shoot things, but you kept debating!
If you were smart, you’d have gone “beep boop beep”
That’d be funny, instead of grating!
But don’t worry, you’ll learn a bunch real fast
Face so full of lead, you’ll need a mask
You’ll look like Darkman, from your head to hips!
Just try kissin’ your girl without lips!
Wait up! Hold your fire! Got me thinkin’
Movies are how you’re speakin’ your thoughts through!
Like the titanic, your life is sinkin’
And you don’t want anyone to save you!
So you hold it in, shooting folks to bits
Who might make you reexamine it
Leave them terrified, focused on their pain
So nobody bugs you ‘bout your brain!
[Stress: Intro: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
Go on, slaughter men like cattle with your merc
It doesn’t mean squat!
This is your first big-boy battle
You’re about to lose a whole lot!
Didn’t count on Pico bustin’ caps
But hey, I’m glad he made it!
Even up the playing field
To rap so hard your pride gets faded!
[Verse 1: Tankman, The Boyfriend, The Girlfriend]
Think you got the rhymes to claim a victory?
You might think your lines are pretty hard
But no one here gets hard as me!
Man, you’re history!
Guess you haven’t noticed this fight’s two-on-one!
Got my girlfriend right here in my arms
Give up, man, we can’t be outdone!
Wow, you’re singing lines together
What a game-changer, twice the chance to fail!
Dirty jokes can’t beat a duet!
We’re in sync, c’mon, do better
All of your burns are gettin’ really stale!
Are we actually gonna fight now?
Not even tryin’, this ain’t worth my best!
Ain’t seen nothin’ yet!
Won fights before, but can you win the war?
C’mon, take your best shot right now!
Me and my girlfriend can pass any test!
[Verse 2: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
You don’t understand the kind of stress this army job will give ya!
Another day, another death
And ya wonder who’s gonna outlive ya!
Just tryin’ to date the Girlfriend’s deadlier than all your lackeys
The second I think I can breathe again
Someone with a grudge attacks me!
They’re not the ones that I worry ‘bout
It’s the enemy fighters on my tail
One by one, they could wipe us all out
Leaving nothing but a blood trail
‘Least everyone tryin’ to off your crew
Looks kinda the same, easy to know
Who’s a passerby and who’s a threat to you
Anyone could be my greatest foe
[Verse 3: Tankman, The Boyfriend, The Girlfriend]
That’s the part that makes me stress out
Most of them are chill and tired
Wait, what?
But if just one troop got left out
From our Titanic-based cease-fire…
So you mean…
If one missed the order out there (Yeah... yup...)
They’d still think that you were fighting (Right... true...)
Any one of them anywhere (Huh!)
Could, without warning, strike like lighting? (Pretty good!)
Never a second I don’t wanna shoot ‘em all
Never a second of respite
But then it'd be just like before
Bye Titanic, hello tank war…
Prepared at all times to fight
I’ll be real, sounds like your life is misery
Even when folks try to take me out
We just sing, they never jump me!
There you go, you unlocked my story
Doesn’t make it make you feel dandy
Sucking away on my terror and lost glory
Like a yummy piece of rock-hard candy?
How can we help?
Isn’t there something you could whip up
That would help make sure everyone knows
You paused your war and you don’t wanna slip up
So you get real chill for real watchin’ your show?
Oh, did you really think that would help me?
I don’t trust any of them to play fair!
I got their favorite half of the movie!
Disc 1’s sitting right in storage over there!
Ever think your favorite whole truce might just slip
If all it takes to break is one dumb disc
Prob'ly should build a way stronger friendship
If you really wanna drop the fighting risk
[Verse 4: Tankman, The Boyfriend, The Girlfriend]
And you lost me, God, that’s so weak
I’m not gonna make amends like some soft freak!
Oh dear...
The second they see an easy mark
They’ll set me up, grab the disc once it gets dark!
Seems clear…
Nothing to do, stuck in stalemate
Nothing to do, stuck in stalemate
Keeping the worse half of the flick just to placate
Keeping the worse half of the flick just to placate
Knowing if they had it again
Knowing if they had it again
Ceasefire’s dead, and so are a million Tankmen!
Ceasefire’s dead, and so are a million Tankmen!
[Ending: Tankman, The Boyfriend]
Might as well just give up
You ain’t gonna solve this
All we did was dig up
My annoying crisis
Can’t give up now!
Gotta end with somethin!
Sittin’ out here stranded!
Think I’m gonna jump in
Leave you empty-handed?
Face it kid, you lost, no easy out
Not all problems compliment your singin’ clout!
Fix this somehow!
C’mon, think fast Boyfriend, song is ending!
These things always wrap with a befriending!