[Intro, spoken]
September 10th, 2004
Hot night. Three hungry kids with nothing to eat and nothing better to do than look for a treat
Ice cream sounded good
We only ever wanted ice cream
What we got... was a massacre
Just me Darnell and Nene against hundreds... thousands of identical, uber-intelligent, uber-strong gene-spliced creeps... Uberkids
We were surrounded
No way we'd make it out without a fight
I said the only thing that came to mind... choose your weapon
(The weapon is chosen)
[Song]
(Pico, spoken)
Oookay, not the weapon I expected... Sooo I'm just gonna use my gun too
(Uberkid, spoken)
Oh, ja, we're gonna charge you anyway so go crazy
(Uberkid)
Bring on das singing fight!
Uberkids show their might!
Mit funny rap, we're skilled and Uberbright!
(Pico)
Think that'll make me scared?
I just put down a bear!
You're dead!
You basic uberchumps don't even compare!
(Uberkid)
We are many! Shoot mit your Uzi!
We'll come back und rap 'till you're woozy!
(Pico)
So you got clones, that's just all the more for me to kill!
You'll pile up and get dumped in a landfill!
(Uberkid)
Nein! We are endless!
You can't edure us!
Uberfred und Ubersam und Uberjon root beyond das grave for us!
Why don't I put that gun back in your mouth?
(Pico)
Wanna bite the bullet like your buds? I'll help out!
Pico is packin' heat, shootin' to the beat
Your blood on the arrows makes the combo twice as sweet!
Nene's boutta stab some backs...
(Uberkid)
No more playin' round, Uberkids, attack!
Fellow soldiers, take your aim!
(Pico)
While I'm spittin' fire Darnell's shootin' flames!
(Uberkid)
Damn it! Damn it!
Someone disarm this freak!
(Pico)
See a threat, I blam it!
Gonna waste you Ubergeeks!
(Uberkid)
We can tell you look weak!
Think a thought in that big empty head!
We're better than you, why drag out you're struggle?
(Pico)
Won't give up til you kids are all dead
You mess with my crew, yer askin for trouble...
Everyone hits the floor, when Philly's illest og
Pico's killin' by the score and wieldin' double uzis!
Send your little Ubergroup, send 'em to the graveyard!
When you fight the Pico troupe ya fall fast and die hard!
Make you dorks sing the blue's, I'll vaporize your Uberschemes
Only way I'll ever lose is in your crappy Uberdreams!
Ain't gonna replace
My whole funkin race!
After I unload
Seven hundred rounds of lead into you're ugly face!
My strength don't come from charts!
I'm a schoolyard hero!
And the school was just a start
I'm the sharpest shooter!
On computers!
Need a tutor?
Boutta teach you lunky dairy looters!
When you take a mighty gasp and you're about to breathe your last
Run this thru your mind chamber...
Your strength and smarts might tear your foes apart
But luck keeps us outta danger!
(Uberkid)
Mein numbers are dwindlin!
You're an uberpain!
(Pico)
You ain't every winnin'
So you best refrain!
(Uberkid)
We are in ein bender...
But we'll come back once we clone some more!
(Pico)
If you won't surrender...
Not gonna let this bloody battle be a war!
(Pico Gunny)
(Uberskid)
(Uberdead)
(Pico)
Oh ho! Is that rage on your mug?
Shoulda left while ya could
End this for good, Uberscrubs!
No more mercy, you bozos had your chance
So c'mon, give me your worst, you freaks, let's dance!
(Uberkid)
Swinehund! You killed Uberjim!
That's my bro!
Why'd you go and splatter him?
Bet's are off! We'll fight til the end!
Das Uberkids will take your life and mutiliate your friends!
(Pico)
Had no clue that I slaughtered your brother, gee...
You guys all look the same to me!
Don't fret, chum, didn't wanna make you separate
So just stand right there and you can share his fate!
(Uberkid)
Das gun ist empty
I'm callin' out ein bluff!
(Hah Hah!)
Let's 1v1
Bet you can't defeat me in fisticuffs!
Tough!
(Pico Punch)
[Outro, spoken]
(Pico)
And that's how we brutally murdered all the Uberkids!
Any questions?
(Ski's Blue)
(Baby Blue Brother Wails)
(Boyfriend)
Pico! What have I told you about telling your war stories to literal children?
(Pico)
What? How else am I gonna fill an our of community service in this dump?
(Boyfriend)
It's a library! Read them a book!
(Boyfriend Does A Literacy)
(Boyfriend)
Here! This one sounds harmless enough
(Pico)
Ugh...The title's so cutesy and boring...
Whatever, Let's just get this over with...
(Take A Look, It's In A Book)
(Pico)
"Happy tree friends, Chapter 1..."