Legendary Beatdown

By RecD

Released on February 19, 2022

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Adventure awaits in Hisui

Such a fresh change of pace for the Pokémon Series!

Open Worlds and hill to climb

Set in Sinnoh but back in a different time!

Watch the Wurmples graze the grass! (Wow!)

Stare in to the mountain pass!

Look at that Rapidash...

..wait...

It wants to kick my ass?!

Suddenly I'm on the run

Jumped into this plannin' for excitement and fun!

But these things can disembowel

How'm I 'sposed to fight a bolder with a tiny freaking owl?!

Gettin Burned and paralyzed

Is a painful new surprise!

Is that hippo looking at me

(!)

With glowin' red eyes?

I wanted to bе the very best

Now I just wanna lеave unconcussed!

To not die is my real test

To catch them is a plus

And I know, it's a more realistic take

But when my skeleton breaks

From some Machoke's bullet punch

I FEEL REAL PAIN INSIDE MY BRAIN AND LOSE MY LUNCH!

People in the neighborhood

Fear the wild Pokémon AND THEY SHOULD!

Could be strollin' through the town

And some gyarados decides everyone drowns!

Got a couple pokeballs

(phew)

But I can't contain them all

Is that an Ursaring?

Oh Arceus

I'M GOING TO GET MAULED!!!

Everywhere I try to hide

There's a hundred monsters roaming outside!

In the air, the land, the lakes

Nothing I can't catch except for a break

(Hypno) Maybe *I* can help you rest

(RecD) No! You're not even in the dex

This place is bad enough

Without some Creepypasta pest!

I wanted to be the very best!

Now I just wanna leave with my limbs!

To not die is my real test

My hopes are pretty dim

And I know, there's balms and tactics to use

But it's real tough to throw food

While I'm eLeCtrOcUtEd!

I think somebody else would be much better-suited

Oh, what a thrill it was, to fight before because my Pokémon took all the hits!

This target on my back, makes every impact feel worse then 20 million crits!

I wanted to be the very best!

Now I just wanna leave

I JUST WANNA LEAVE!

To not die is my real test

To die would be reprieve

And I'm sure

It's huge and sprawling and fun

But that's cos you're not the one

Blacking out ten times an hour!

Cos every deadly beast has even deadlier magic powers!

Ok, that's it. I'm using the arc-phone to call Arceus!

*You used Arc-Phone*

GET ME OUTTA HERE, MAN!

*Arceus is busy*

*fear*