Been Alone

By RAPBAUM

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I have been alone so long

And yet it’s still uncomfortable

I’m sitting with my feelings

And some actions that’s regrettable

I do wanna do better too

But sometimes I have lost my focus

Hoping that I’ll still improve

As I am moving forward

Down this rabbit hole

I’m magical but somedays more like Davenport

My spirit’s tied up

My stars will not line up

Maybe I am forcing something

Holding onto promise

Hoping that the problem will resolve without me even trying

I been really tired

But, so are these excuses

And I practice mindfulness

But really what’s the usе if

I am moving round so clueless

Don’t know what I’m doin

Used to bе so fluid

Now my life is choppy

And the present just continues to elude me

I been stumbling

I’m drunk again

Off love and lust and whisky

Once I mix the three together

I start acting extra risky

I wish we could be together

Like the versions I’ve imagined

But reality is far away from things my mind makes happen

So I

So I, so I, so I

Just been alone (yeah)

So I, So I

Just been alone (yeah)

(I do wanna do better too, I do wanna do better too)

So I, So I

(I do wanna do better too, I do wanna do wanna do)

Just been alone (yeah)

(I do wanna do better too, I do wanna do better too)

So I, So I

(I do wanna do better too, I do wanna do wanna do)

Just been alone

The path I’m on is long and It’s been winding so many bends

I been tryina make amends

I"m inside of my brain again

It’s messy and congested

And it’s tempting to escape it and

I know a couple places

We could get away and play pretend

Temptations is around me everywhere that I been staying when

I’m faded and its late enough that early mornings bringing in

The sun right through the cracks inside the door inside this maze were in

It’s Really just a black hole that is filled up with cocaine and sin

Yet I’m falling still

Repeating all these cycles

I been tryina be a person who resembles all my idols

And I wonder and I question if they struggle just like I do

Or have we all just been lied to

By the people we subscribe to

I don’t know but I could swear that there ain’t nothing more confusing then

Being born a human in a time not of our choosing when

Our parents are just children that is dressed up like they grown folk

And ya can’t be teaching lessons if you still ain’t learned your own so

So I, so I, so I

Just been alone (yeah)

So I, So I

Just been alone (yeah)

(I do wanna do better too, I do wanna do better too)

So I, So I

(I do wanna do better too, I do wanna do wanna do)

Just been alone (yeah)

(I do wanna do better too, I do wanna do better too)

So I, So I

(I do wanna do better too, I do wanna do wanna do)

Just been alone