[Verse 1: Randy Newman]

Putin puttin' his pants on

One leg at a time

You mean he's just like a regular fella, huh?

He ain't nothin' like a regular fella

Putin puttin' his hat on

Hat size number nine

You sayin' Putin's gettin' big-headed?

Putin's head is just fine

[Verse 2: Randy Newman]

He can drive his giant tractor

Across the Trans-Siberian plain

He can power a nuclear reactor

With the left side of his brain

And when he take his shirt off

He drive the ladies crazy

When he take his shirt off

Make me wanna be a lady

It's the Putin Girls!

[Chorus: Putin Girls]

Putin, if you put it

When you put it, where you put it?

Putin, if you put it

Will you put it next to me?

Putin, if you put it

When you put it, where you put it?

Putin, if you put it

Will you put it next to me?

[Interlude: Randy Newman]

Putin hates the Putin Girls

'Cause he hates vulgarity

He loves his mother country

And he loves his family

He and his ex-wife Lyudmila

Are riding along the shore

Of the beautiful new Russian Black Sea

Let's listen in, a great man is speaking

[Verse 3: "Vladimir Putin"]

We fought a war for this?

I'm almost ashamed

The Mediterranean

Now there's a resort worth fighting for

If only the Greeks or the Turks

Would start to sniff around

Oh, I'd bring the hammer down

So quick their woolly heads would spin

Woolly head, woolly head, woolly head

Oh, wait a minute, even better

What if the Kurds got in the way?

Hey, Kurds and way, curds and whey

[Verse 4: "Vladimir Putin"]

Sometimes a people

Is greater than their leader

Germany, Kentucky, and France

Sometimes a leader

Towers over his country

One shot at glory

They don't get a second chance

I dragged these peasants

Kicking and screaming

Into the twenty-first century

I thought we'd make it

I must have been dreaming

These chicken farmers and file clerks

Gonna be the death of me

[Bridge: "Vladimir Putin" & Putin Girls]

I can't do it (Sure you can)

I can't do it (Yeah, you can)

What makes you say that, girls?

Tell you why

'Cause you're the Putin Man

[Chorus: "Vladimir Putin" & Putin Girls]

Who whipped Napoleon? (We did!)

Who won World War II? (The Americans!)

That's a good one, ladies

It's our turn to sit in the comfy chair

And you're the man gonna get us there

I don't know, Lenin couldn't do it

I don't know, Stalin couldn't do it

Now they couldn't do it

Why you think I can?

You're gonna lead our people to the promised land

[Outro: "Vladimir Putin"]

Oh, you're right!

Cause goddamn, I'm the Putin Man!