{INTRO/INSTRUMENTAL}

[VERSE ONE: Wario]

I'm-a Wario

-and I'm-a here to say

I'm-a 'gonna mess up your entire day!

I got a tripping bike

-and a billion coins!

I have a half-wit bro

(Who likes to chop his loins.)

I got a funny little stroll

That I can't control

Player haters 'gonna hate me

Cause that's how I roll

See, I may not have a princess

-but that don't make me lame

I stay busy with my shizzy

Making stupid crappy games

[Chorus: Greek chorus/chant]

No one's got a strut like Wario;

Scratching at their butt like Wario;

Jumping up and down like Wario;

Looking quite as round as Wario!

No one picks their nose like Wario

Wipes it on their clothes like Wario!

No one's half as bad as Wario

He's Wario!

Wario!

He's Wario!

[VOCAL INTERLUDE: Wario]

(Laughter)

What a rotten song! It needs to be louder!

[VERSE TWO: Wario]

We're talking three hundred pounds of super Wario, bro!

It's all from eating clothes of garlic-

(Am I crazy? Um no!)

Put this bucket on your head

I'm gonna be right back

I'm 'gonna fight a bunch of pirates

While I shake my magic sack

I've a dragon-bull-jet

Now I'm riding a kart

I own-a Wario's Woods

-and I'm-a known to fart

When I'm not on the job I wear yellow and plum

Cause I'm-a Wario, man!

-and I'm number one!

[Chorus Greek chorus/chant]

No one's quite the brute as Wario;

No one acts as rude as Wario;

No one's quite as crass as Wario;

No one passes gas like Wario;

No one shrinks in size like Wario;

Master of disguise (that's Wario);

Get a call from mom (VOICE: "Hi Wario!")

He's Wario!

Wario!

He's Wario!

[BRIDGE: Greek Chorus]

What kind of creep

Goes "weh" in his sleep?

The kind who fights Rudy the Clown

(He's a clown! He's a really really bad clown.)

What kind of heel

Can make your paint peel?

He's Wario

Wario

He's Wario

[TRANSITION]

-[SOLID SNAKE]

My name's Snake

Come and join my crew

I've got a team of six

Including me and you

-[WARIO]

Wah, buzz off Snake

Or else I'll bust out my nine-volt!

-[SNAKE]

There's cash involved-

-[WARIO]

What, where do I sign up?

[Chorus: Greek chorus/chant]

No one has a blast like Wario;

Has a troubled past like Wario;

None know how to dance like Wario;

[OUTRO: Wario (spoken)]

Have a rotten day!