[Verse 1: ethan is online]

Nine and eleven wasn't an inside job, it happened outside

I wasn't good at sports, I didn't get a free ride

Does it make you sad when your spouse lies?

Order a McDouble and a big fries

Zachary Galifianakis, more like Zachary Galifi-stank-is

I don't eat white fish, I don't like parties

See that star, make a wish

I wish I was at Arby's, I am hard to please

My dog, he doesn't have any fleas

I'm missing the forest, I'm missing the trees

Missing the car and I'm missing my keys

[Verse 2: Dev Lemons]

Meaty fun

You will never feed me, chum

Add a little PC drum

Take it with a greasy thumb, yeah

You're a little meaty dumb

Will somebody feed me rum, feed me rum?

And Coke? Of Cola?

[Verse 3: nickisnotgreen]

Why do people say the best superpower is speed?

I would ask for three more wishes, I'm on a roll, it's not the greed

Second thing that's on my wishlist, I ask for infinite wishes

Don't forget and I part a banana two ways when I split it, mistake

Me for several other of your boys

Meaning several drinkers of the soy, if you yell, then I'm annoyed

If I'm anointed then I'm Christina Aguilera

I itch, please scratch my hair, uh

That's on QUEEF

[Interlude: nickisnotgreen]

Bagel spread, mayo head, I'm unearthing all new kinds of bread

Am I dead? No, reset

Bagel spread, mayo head, I'm unearthing all new kinds of bread

Am I dead? No, reset

[Bridge: Dev Lemons]

Take you on a date, to the lake

Take you on a date, when it's late

Take you on a date, at the lake

Feed you to the prey, Bobby Flay

[Verse 4: Dev Lemons]

Bobby Flay, and his daughter Sophie

If I were him, I would bestow upon her a trophy

Unless she crashes the family car

I wish I owned a golfing cart

I don't know which way my hair's to part

I will never be good at throwing darts

I don't like them, I think it's hard

I went to grade school with Lindsay Smart

I didn't go to school with Jacob Sharpe

[Verse 5: Dev Lemons & ethan is online]

Yeah, Bobby Flay, I did not-not know he had a daughter

Uh, Bobby Flay, I do not know where to find his father, uh

Scooby-Doo eats a big 'wich

I got all D's in my class of English

I feel like I got just pink slipped

Queef beat, it burns like a bong rip

I hope my favorite song hits

Lettuce, bread, mustard and cheese

Scooby-Doo sandwich like money to me

I pick you up and drive in my Kia

I am so thirsty, take a sip of my tea, ah

[Verse 6: nickisnotgreen & Dev Lemons]

Take a sip of my beer, I get so scared when I look in the mirror

Boo-hoo, I cry, I piss, no lie

Three coupons to iFly, it's the same as sky-diving

Take a pic' of my heinie

Why don't I say it in layman's terms? Uh

If it were the 80s I would get a perm, yeahUh, if I had a pimple I would see the derm, it—

[Outro: nickisnotgreen]

I will wear the color black so I am sneaky

Give you space so that I don't come off as creepy

Wear a long hat, hold a candle 'cause I'm sleepy

Another word for small is eenie-weenie

I will wear the color black so I am sneaky

Give you space so that I don't come off as creepy

Wear a long hat, hold a candle 'cause I'm sleepy

Another word for small is eenie-weenie