Ego Death

By Quadeca

On Voice Memos

Released on March 8, 2019

28K Views

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[Part I]


[Verse 1]

I know I got a ego

Must be something in my brain

If I didn't, I'd probably go insane

I'm sorry I'm an asshole

That's just how the raps go

Sorry that I do this shit everyday


[Part II]


[Chorus]

What? Yeah, I'm on my ego death (Wavyboy, you ain't got no money)

I had to reassess, I had to resurrect, yeah

Huh, hey, huh, I just wanna be the best

But I had to reassess, is that why I'm feelin' less?


[Verse 2]

Yeah, huh, my songs are bipolar like Ye, huh (Huh)

They think they controllin' my fate, uh (Ooh, yeah)

Cut all the chatter, no, y'all are not rappers

You just some ad-libbers like, "Ayy," huh (For real)

I just pulled up, back in black

Drop a hit, they react to that (Ooh, huh)

Now they see this and they actin' mad (Yeah)

Like I'm Kanye in a MAGA hat, yeah

I'm so alone, see, I've always been one and only

Even back when this gold chain was made out of macaroni

Now they always askin' me what happened to the old me?

I wish I could've told him "Goodbye", wish he had known me (Yeah)

Wish that I could tell you 'bout how everyone would know you (Uh-huh)

And tell you it's worth it, despite everything they told you

Cryin' silent in your pillow sayin', "I wish I was homeschooled" (Yeah)

Too afraid to sing your songs because you thought that they would roast you, yeah

I was nine, friends told me I would go lose (They did)

Now it's time I think I gotta show you (Yeah, I think it's time, gotta show you)

That's my mind, say I don't care, but I so do (But I so do)

Having trouble walkin' up a mile in my own shoes (Shoes)

Never used to bet on me and now they like, "I owe you" (You)

Lookin' back at them like, "The fuck? I do not know you"

When I make a milli', mo'fucker, I'ma show you

What I had to go through to feel like I'm supposed to (Ooh, ooh)

Ego, I don't need no

Other people in my trio

Myself, I and me, though, we know

We don't need no kilos, my watch frío

Yeah


[Chorus]

I’m on my ego death

But I let it breathe again, yeah, I let it resurrect, yeah

Uh, I just wanna be the best

But I had to reassess, is that why I'm feelin' less? Yeah (Yeah)


[Verse 3]

On the way, all okay, only a call away

Feelin' like a god on my Charlemagne (Huh?)

I really think they want my presence, like a holiday (Yeah)

But I think I need to learn when to walk away (I do)

Man, I got so many problems, but I wanna stay

Without acknowledgin' how often I have gone astray (Yeah)

First step is denial, but I'm over that

And I've accepted it already

But it holds me back, yeah

Back, yeah

Slurrin' my words, I been movin' too fast, yeah

Fast, yeah (Okay)

Maybe I don't wanna share it like that, yeah

That's facts, yeah (Uh)

I need to stop checking all of the stats

Like that, like that, yeah, ayy (Yeah, yeah)


[Chorus]

I'm on my ego death

I had to reassess, I had to resurrect, yeah

Huh, hey, huh, I just wanna be the best

But I had to reassess, is that why I'm feelin' less? Yeah


[Verse 4]

I got forty-thousand comments this week

At least five-thousand said that I should kill myself, I'm a freak

I'm too weak, I'm a leech, and all my music fuckin' sucks, I'm a geek

I'm everythin' they want me to be and that's the problem with me

So when they say you got a ego, tell 'em, "Thank the fuckin' Lord"

'Cause if you didn't, you'd be sufferin', you'd be stuck there on the floor with nothin' more

At least I'm out here smilin' in the quicksand

Take your head out of that pillow, one day, you gon' be the big man

Yeah


[Part III]


[Outro]

In the dark

I stare into mirrors for hours

Until I can't recognize myself

A dissonant reflection

Both a sober and a sobering hallucination