I've been dreaming with my eyes open in hope to find that someday I won’t flirt with sadness, anymore, placing my hands against the door

I mutter to myself if nothings as it seems

Why can't I get to sleep?

The distorted noise, reminds me I'm alone

& I’m afraid of confessing it, but I've never vented, I can't help it

I wake up exhausted & taunted, by the memories that keep haunting me

I want my life back

Everytime I seem to find some rest, the anxiousness becomes so painless, as if to feel I am on my deathbed

Still restless but no yet buried

Grasping my nails into my sheets, I scream

& for no reason, I'll start to weep

I'll leave myself behind, for old bones

Gathering the broken to bring to a new

To carry my heart alone

Yet I still feel so isolated

I don't know why, I keep spending nights in the cold

& I'm running out of whiskey, to keep the warmth

It's a subtle reminder, that my knuckles are cold

What I knew is barely shattered glass anymore

Different remakes of glass along the wall

Each shard representing who I was

What you used to be

What we used to be

I can’t walk away, so please don’t walk away from me

& I'll turn my head, around

Only to forget, your "umbrella" can’t stop this from

What it meant to me, when the distorted light, blurs the image

As soon as my eyes, met the back of your head

"I'm fighting, I swear I'm fucking fighting man

Fighting for my life

I'm throwing punches at these nights

These nights I lie awake, fight for sleep

Hope I’m not drinking again

Fighting these words on this page

Hope I never have to see them again

I don't know where this will take us both, or the letters to form the words

The words that keep breaking me apart

From the words that we spoke

I will learn from this" - Adrian ~ Vera

I'm scared of death

I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to fucking fade

I'm so fucking scared, of what's here today

I don't want to feel the way that we felt when we did last at the tracks

I'm lifting my head, trying to find some confidence & willingness

I know I'm just a desperate soul, trying to grasp onto your head

I know we're all trying to fucking fight it

There's nothing left, there's no more confidence, so give it up, you're fucking useless

You left me on me deathbed

I've got nothing left

I just want my life back

There's nothing to be said

We're all desperate souls

We're all miserable

We're all desperate souls

& I'm miserable