Oh, the word's on the street, you've found someone new

If he looks nothing like me, I'm so happy for you

I heard an old girlfriend has turned to the church

She's trying to replace me but it'll never work

'Cos every touch reminds you of

Just how sweet it could have been

And every time he kisses you

It leaves behind the bitter taste of saccharin

A bad cover version of love is not the real thing

Bikini-clad girl on the front who invited you in

Such great disappointment when you got him home

The original was so good, the one you no longer own

And every touch reminds you of

Just how sweet it could have been

And every time he kisses you

You get the taste of saccharin

It's not easy to forget me

It's so hard to disconnect

When it's electronically reprocessed

To give a more life-like effect

Ah, sing your song

About all the sad imitations that got it so wrong

It's like a later Tom and Jerry

When the two of them could talk

Like the Stones since the eighties

Like the last days of Southfork

Like Planet of the Apes on TV

The second side of 'Til the Band Comes In

Like an own-brand box of cornflakes

He's going to let you down my friend