Moving Day - Intellectual

[Intro]

Aw crap

Oh fine

God damn it

Saturday, sure

My god, what have I done

Move his stuff

[Verse 1]

Staring at the wall, what have I committed to?

A sacred social pact, something you cannot undo

Friendship maintenance and guilt forms a moving crew

If I do not help you move then you won't help me move

[Breakdown 1]

You told us all to be here right at noon yet you are still packing and

Guilty of betrayal number one

We're working but you have been slacking

[Chorus]

Up and down and up and down and up and down the stairs again

[Verse 2]

You hoard all your useless crap you refuse to donate to Goodwill and

I sacrifice my weekend to wading through your forsaken loot and

We repeatedly ask "What is this? Where's this go? What do you do with this?"

I now descend down the stairs prone all alone in the spider basement

[Chorus]

Up and down and up and down and up and down the stairs again

Up and down and up and down I wish that you were not my friend

[Verse 3]

What is all this pointless shit you kept

Ugly lobster tongs from your Uncle Jeff

Curse your box that's overstuffed with textbooks you forgot exist

Oh shit, woah

This is fun

[Bridge 1]

It's moving day

Nothing says "Thanks, buddy"

Like a $5 Little Caesars Hot and Ready

It's moving day

Nothing gives life meaning

Like doing heavy lifting all day and sneezing

It's moving day

Nothing says commitment

Like the friend with the truck that couldn't make it

It's moving day

I just love getting splinters

Then whacking my shins before smashing my fingers

God damn it, ow

Two more trips

We got this

Move his stuff

There's more stuff

So much stuff

[Verse 4]

Flinch from that dog that barks every freakin' time you pass by it

And we disagree, please tell me, how do you move a goddamn plant

Drip on my head now it rains and I'm wet, the boxes are ripping and

Spilling all your cables kneeling down, on the ground

Now my shoes are all squishy

[Chorus]

DVI and VGA, S-Video and RCA

USB 1, 2, and 3, mini, micro, A and B

40-pin IDE, a wired mouse from ‘93

Broken parts you can’t replace, ya better keep ‘em just in case

[Breakdown 2]

Guilty of betrayal number two

All the restaurants closed and it's too late for food

[Interlude]

You disappeared two hours ago

Come back and now you smell like reefer

Dude, I'm about to beat you to death with this vacuum cleaner

[Bridge 2]

It's moving day! So glad it's raining

I'm hauling your junk as you stand there complaining

It's moving day! Well, this is a treat!

The sun's gone down and there's nothing to eat!

It's moving day! Betrayal number three

You exaggeratted how quick this would be

It's moving day! Havin' so much fun!

It's 1:00 am and we're still not done

[Breakdown 3]

Moving a couch

Hold on a second, I'm losing my grip

Moving a couch

Ow, ow, you're crushing my hand

Moving a couch

We're moving a couch

Ugh, let's stop for a second

Should we take the legs off

Should we take the door off

No no no, just tilt it a little that way

No, my right, not—not your right

Tilt it up and twist it, like

Cool, we put another hole in the wall

Well, kiss that deposit goodbye

Fuck that door, we didn't need it anyway

Break out the chainsaw

Gonna cut it in half

One love seat's now two recliners

I'll set all your stuff on fire

[Outro]

Burn it to the ground

Furniture

Burn it to the ground

Watch it burn

Burn it to the ground

Old apartment

Burn it to the ground

New apartment too

Burn it to the ground

Hey, do you need both of these blenders

Burn it to the ground

'Cause I really need a blender

I really like smoothies, I saw a sweet recipe online

I wanna try it, my blender's broke

You have two, doesn't make any sense