Subconscious Thoughts

I’m starting to lose faith

But God got a plan for me, at least that’s what they say

How long it take before my air escapes, my soul floats away

My heart don’t pump the same way no more?

My roots long my light dim where’s the soul glo, I’m tryna shine

No longer wanna be the brightest star

That’s young minded I’m just tryna take the pressure off at this point

And may this be my last flight here with this joint

I’m disjointed, discombobulated, disassociated with my inner peace

I’m dark Phoenix, damn I miss my niece

Flowing feeling lost at sea

Never is as deep as it really seems eleven years rapping showed me stranger things, looking for that greener pasture

Ay where’s pastor that’s gon tell me I’ll be happyafter, happy hours

I’m just a rapper on this mic I’m far from a coward

In real life I’m shy and hesitant

I go to sleep and overthink bout am I heaven sent or hells mistake?

The type of pain that keep you wide awake

Sometimes I wish they’d drive by me and just ride away and leave me froze

I’m cold hearted desolate, that’s all I really know

These thoughts remind me everyday, there ain’t no where to go

You think you at yo lowest, than you reach another low

But where I’m suppose to go?

Like where I’m suppose to go?

I don’t know

I’m sorry Teddy I kept missing yo call

I wun avoiding Shit just working that’s all

That’s all I do that’s all I ever done

Survivors guilt I’m still surprised that I survived the gun

Survived the suicide, survived the cigarettes

Survived the pill popping just to cope dog

Survived the over drinking nerve damage after gave me smarter thinking, and some hope dog

I hope to god you hear these lyrics and they push you through

Cause you and Jay the only two that understand my pain the reason we became a crew

Was only 9 ain’t understand a lot

Like Jay yo mama gave you everything, and Teddy mama took him out the city meanwhile I’m stuck up in this box

Back at home the stress the same, y’all stayed the night and told me everything

These tears dropping mixed with blood stains

You see these visions through my glass frames

I spill out truth until my blood drains

Or until the day our lives change