Don't care what you're smoking
Or what you're drinking
If I were president
You'd have to call me Abe Lincoln
Don't care if you go to work
Don't care if you go to jail
If I'm swimming in the ocean
I'm a fucking blue whale
Don't care if you're celibate
Don't care if you have sex
If I'm a land-based predator
They call me T. Rex
Don't care what you got
Don't care who you do
If I'm a mountain climber
I'm at the top of K2
Yeah I'm fat...and getting fatter
Yeah I'm bad...and getting badder
Yeah I'm sick...and getting sicker
Yeah I'm big...and getting bigger
Don't care where you bought it
Don't care how you wear it
If I'm a fucking gold ring
I got 24 karats
Don't care if you look like Busta
If you sound like Latifah
If I'm a skyscraper
My name is Burj Khalifa
Don't care if you're getting smarter
If you're getting stupider
I'm flying through the solar system
You know that I'm Jupiter
Don't care about your house
Don't care about your car
If I'm a top-grossing movie
You know I'm Avatar
Yeah I'm fat...and getting fatter
Yeah I'm bad...and getting badder
Yeah I'm sick...and getting sicker
Yeah I'm big...and getting bigger
Don't care about your ink
Don't care if it's tribal
If we're talking book sales
I'm titled the Bible
Don't care if you're a thug
Don't care if you're a killer
In a list of album sales
You can call me Thriller
Don't care if you drink Coke
Don't care if you drink Snapple
If I'm a money-making company
You know that I'm Apple
Don't care if you're wide awake
Or in a deep sleep
If we're talking oil spills
I'm motherfucking BP
Yeah I'm fat...and getting fatter
Yeah I'm bad...and getting badder
Yeah I'm sick...and getting sicker
Yeah I'm big...and getting bigger
Don't care if you're at the beach
Or at the spa
If we're talking badass roller coasters
I'm Kingda Ka
Don't care if you're freezing hot
Or you're blistering cold
If we're talking Must See TV
I'm the Super Bowl
Don't care if you go to Heaven
Don't care if you go to Hell
If we're talking selling burritos
I'm Taco Bell
Don't care if you're dirty
Don't care if you're clean
On the list of hurricanes
My name is Irene
Yeah I'm fat...and getting fatter
Yeah I'm bad...and getting badder
Yeah I'm sick...and getting sicker
Yeah I'm big...and getting bigger