[Intro: MC 7EVEN as Announcer]

Hmm, very poignant

And now, I point to the teacher and the classroom

And our wild tale commences

[Verse 1: Princess Superstar as Teacher]

Hello, everyone, welcome to ancient speaking class

You must speak, that's what I'm teaching

If you're going to telepath, you're wasting my time, so don't spaz

Hey, I heard that! Who just thought their teacher has a big ass?

Don't think nasty things like that when everyone here can telepath

Well, this is fun, I know it's difficult without tongues

But you're young, you still have lots of time to sunscreen under one of the suns

Now who wants to start? Will it be you Intel Inside? Or you, Just Do It?

Perhaps Got Milk wants to begin, oh, Coke Is It, stand, don't sit

Hit It, Ba Da Ba Ba Ba, I'm Lovin' It, you begin your report

Don't use your port, use your rusty, a little dusty, mouth and larynx

Right where you used to put a sandwich, see if we can manage

But we're gonna need a beat in order for you to handle it

Uh, I'm teaching you in rhyme

Since archaeologists found only Shakespeare and B.I.G.'s 'Ready to Die'

When time and age was counted, measured, money was pleasure

Babies branded after ad campaigns forever

The old world was confused

Attaching themselves to the biblical by the umbilical

Ironically, so much like the amoeba they sprung from, the evolution was cyclical

But I get ahead of myself, or was that behind myself?

Perhaps Coke Is It wants to do her report first, I'm asking

But remember kids, no telepathin'

[Verse 2: Princess Superstar as Coke Is It & Teacher]

My, um, um, ancient speaking report

Is on my great-to-the-50th-power grandmother whose name was Superstar

I am the descendant of her duplicant

A sycophant from a cloning plant

No telepathing, Coke Is It!

Right, uh, the year of her was 2080

Understandably illusive since we don't count time anymore, maybe

It's a bit hazy, but Superstar was crazy

An entertainer back when there was entertainment, pleasure for payment

So that everybody would stop their complainin'

She was very, very bad, and I don't mean bad meaning good

I'll explain how bad Superstar was if I could

In those strange days, each human was allowed one exact clone

Or duplicant as they called them

To do his bidding, his drinking, his pigging

His cigging, or his unpleasant slash moral thinking

One could do it at any age

And as the original changed and the duplicant would rearrange

But our derranged Superstar was thinking

Why just one duplicant when she could have a troupe of them? (Mhm)

Why settle for one when she could make thousands of bad girl clones to get a better job done?

Well, what was she like when she was young?

She dreamed of bein' a celebrity just like everyone

It was 2005, a strange time to be alive

She knew if she couldn't be famous in her time

She would be one day in 2080

So she found a super computer MRI baby (Wow!)

That would preserve her mind until the world was ready to comply

I ain't gonna lie, not only does she become famous

She becomes the only famous person alive

Listen to her plot, playin' with her friends when she was only nine

What an insane mind!

Yeah, thank God it's not mine

Or, uh?